This could be smelly....Its Shit!!!!

The title is a Warning... Whatever you read below is at your own risk and not my fault

Well, before going in to the post let me tell you on what and who this post is? Do you Poo daily????

If Yes, Where do you Poo? At Home. At Office or Anywhere, whenever you get the call.....Well if it is at Office then this post is for you....
If No, Please dont sit and read this. GO and Meet a Good Doc.

All Office Pooers ( also read it like me) have you ever admitted to your colleague sitting near youe cubicle that you Pooed and had mesed up the Loo???? Practically none of us would have done that... ( Include Me in it). The most dificult times are when you are in the mid of a meeting and suddenly you feel something hot and heavy boilng under your belly threatening to burst out of your Pants any moment...

Times where you adjust and sit in your seat trying to ease of the Pressure, bend in the front when all your hairs in the hand stand upright....Whoffff....

I have always wondered how this could be managed....And then I got the answer..Yahooo!!!For those who hate pooing at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but
doesnt know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled.Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and check for other pooers. If there are others in the
bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a
sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare
everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poo has to
stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very
uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

A colleague who poos at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooer enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the bathroom.

A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooing goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Pooers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your sex entering the bathroom.

Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most
shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in

A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a
Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

A case of diarrhea that creates series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. A BIG BROTHER makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

As an After thought

I don't quite understand these people who are always trying to get into the record books. Longest fingernails? Most dung beetles eaten? Huh?... You know, as far as I'm concerned, there's only one world record that I'd like to break someday: World's Oldest Living Human Being! Absolutely no special skills and very little effort involved. You just basically have to outlive everyone else... Yeah I know, it's a lifelong challenge, but it sure beats having the record for the world's biggest tumor. Or at least the most beautiful person on Earth. Well if you have doubts or problems in accepting the fact then I think you better speak to my mom about it.

Well coming to the post...the post could be considered a continuation of the previous post.. No its not a Sequel or a Prequel...its just the title...there were times when I was considered a Stigma in the colony where I lived and out lived the rest....And once again its about my childhood times where everyone around me and other than me were fools. Thanks to Aamir Khan for making me remember those days....( If you have'nt watched TZP.. pls. watch it)

I have a scar in my left hand. Every one has a story behind the scar...Here is what happened one day..

Everyone in my home went to the nearby temple one evening. I didn't go. No. I am not an atheist. Its just that I don't go.I was all alone in my home. The time was 8.00 pm. We had an empty plot behind my house. The stray dogs there started to bark suddenly. More to that, that day was an Amavasya...The windows started to flutter. Swoosh.. the power went...The entrance gate opened. I heard someone coming near the Main door.

Mr.X.: Is there anyone in the house????
Me: One Min.
I went hurriedly and lit a candle. I applied ashes on my forehead.. just in case
As I thought, that man scared the shit out of me.

Me: Yes. What do you want?
He: Kiddo, is there anyone at home?
Me: How could I tell him no one is there? What will he do if I say so? Will he kidnap me? Will he threaten my mom for a huge ransom?
Else is he going to attempt a robbery?
Me: Hmmm.. You tell me. Amma is taking rest. ( Ha.. Now he wont try to barge in !!!)
He: Actually, Can you tell me how to go to Door No. 87?
Me: ( Huh! ) Is that all you want man? Sigh!!!! Oh There are 2 ways. One is go right and go straight...
He: Straighta?
Me: Yes.. Take a turn in ur 2nd right....GO till the end of the road.. Then take another right turn....Go straight to the dead end...There you can find Door No. 81...
He: Thax Kiddo
Me: And ... even befor I could say anything huh he left....!!!
Bad luck for him!!!| Did you guess? Here is the Map of the route and the street!!!! Aaaarghhhh!! I forgot to tell you that my house no is. 78...

Now coming to the scar part....Less than ten mins. my mom came home.. And the power too...Well i rushed outside..Went to door no. 87...peeped in to check if that scary man had come...Oh He had come and was having a laugh at how I had fooled him..He saw me .. I turned to run not wanting to get caught....Psst.. I fell down and now my left leg knee has a long scar!!!