Each one of us would have either been a participant or a spectator or a member of the organizing team in a Cultural Event. BE it in School, College or at least in your office....Isn't it? If you have not come across any of this, then better close this window. This crap is not just for you. For one, you will not understand ; Two, you are a dumb ass....
Now those whose ass is not as Dumb as SLB... and those who had had fun inasmuch as I had....Have you ever been the M.C?
As you all know that in my college I am the most wanted when it comes to organizing or emceeing....Till that date I thought was good for Nothing but never knew that Talking Non Stop would get the attention of my college....Let me cut the Long Blah Blah Blahs....This is what happened when I did M.C. for the first time... I was more like the Instant Uppuma.... the good looking girl who had to M.C. that day was unable to do it for unknown reasons (Actually she eloped with her boy friend and got married!!! Charges were borne by us - I will tell you in another post what happened)
Moreover it was the inter cultural event once. Participants from other colleges were there. We had a series of events to be conducted. The elocution was going on its full spree and to the shock of my college mgmt. none of them paid attention.
I was to announce the next event that followed elocution. There was so much catcalls and hisses. It was my first attempt at emceeing. My appearance with the program list was welcomed with a farewell clap...For a moment I thought am gonna wet my pants...There I was standing patiently for them to come to silence.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I began...the catcall and hisses started anew...
Oh am sorry. I didn't mean to insult anyone..... (Sigh! At last I got their attention....) Now May I welcome our beloved Chief guest to deliver his Speech...that was to be followed by the Cultural Secretary of the College and it was to be followed by the Principal to deliver her........blah blah blah........)
One thing about my Principal is she is a lady of Wits and Quotes. Of all things for what all I am today, she is the one I have to thank. She had a sharp sense of humor and has a way to get things done...
I remember once that for an intra college function we asked her permission to present a tamil skit. Well, we had an unwritten rule that everything should be conducted in English. To our disbelief she said yes.. while she was to disperse from the meeting she said " Well you may do as you wish, but don't you think that English is the medium in which all of us have to excel?" And so we dropped the idea of having a Tamil skit....
Well let me come back to this post....To the dismay of the participants and the viewers all the speaker spoke in length and carried their bulky speech....Visibly brightened crowd welcomed her with a huge applause... someone went overboard and said..Thank you so much you dont have loads of things to say.....
After all those thank you messages...The lady of wits and quotes related to some Lord Goodman....He once said " When a man speaks from notes, at least you know he/she is going to end sometime."
That was it the crowd was tounge tied...And then she spoke for another 3- 4 mins and left the stage....
So now why am I saying this....Its that This morning when I opened my Mail box I had a mail from her.. Wishing Me for Children's Day...However notorious I could be... She is one person who will forgive me ....likes me and wishes me good luck... Thank you Mam...for all your love and I know you are a silent visitor here...This post is for YOU...You are Truly, Simply Special....
Showing posts with label College. Show all posts
Showing posts with label College. Show all posts
After seeing the Imposition post, my little devil, the so called sister of this humble bee sent me this. This is what I planned to send it to my HOD at College, after finishing the 1st semester. Somehow, my dad found it; he threatened to disown me and warned me that I would be sent out of home permanently.
To: Mrs. TYHJKK (Sorry, I cannot reveal her name, now)
HOD- Accounts Department,
----------------- College.
Dear Madam,
Subject: Commerce
I am Bee. Studying ----- at this college. I have just finished my 1st semester. I seek two things from you. You can offer any one and the choice is yours. First one is department transfer. As you see from my marks, I have got an arrear in your subject. I was extremely shocked and disturbed at the out come of the exam results.
Second one is, you can change my marks. I have valid points and hope you would appreciate my reasoning. I think my marks should have been different in your course. It should be changed from 25 to 70 for the following reasons:
1. The persons who copied my paper has got more marks than I did.
2. The person whose paper I copied has got more marks than I did.
3. This course will lower my overall percentage and I won't get into:
PG course.
My dream Company
My home.
4. Only If I get 70 marks, will I at least leave the college with First Class. Please understand that if the marks don’t change even my kid sister will not respect me.
5. You should also understand that during your class hours I was involved in the Culturals of our College. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.
6.I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact.
7. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles.
8. If you still don’t think of changing my marks, then it is b’cos, you are prejudiced against:
Girls.
Beautiful Girls.
Intelligent & Beautiful Girls.
People
Students
College (Pls. refer the 5th point which I cannot re-write)
9. By changing the marks, I would stay with my parents and will not become an orphan. You will never have to feel guilty that you have made an orphan.
10. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following reasons:
A cat walked past me when I started for the exam
I broke my little finger
My sister was not well the previous night.
I was alone at home as my parents had taken her to hospital.
I thought my father was pregnant, for he has a paunch.
11. If anyone calls me Quarter, its because of you.
12. You have asked as not to by heart all the lessons and be creative. I was creative and you said that am becoming Crazy.
13. The lectures were too detailed to pick out important points and not explained in sufficient detail. When the whole class complained that the you were boring, only I defended that your classes are a real lullaby.
14. I also want a change of Department because, you rain a lot during your lectures and its becoming extremely difficult to sit in the 1st row and not get wet.
15. If you still have not changed my marks at least change my department. This is a request and not a warning.
I promise you that even if you don’t change my department and my marks, I will not harm you with a hockey stick nor will I give 50 miss calls to your house number in the from 11 pm to 3 am. Neither will I conduct condolence meeting on your Wedding Anniversary.
Yours Obediently,
Bee
1st year
A Section.
Note: If you decide to transfer me to some other department, please consult with me before deciding on the department.
To: Mrs. TYHJKK (Sorry, I cannot reveal her name, now)
HOD- Accounts Department,
----------------- College.
Dear Madam,
Subject: Commerce
I am Bee. Studying ----- at this college. I have just finished my 1st semester. I seek two things from you. You can offer any one and the choice is yours. First one is department transfer. As you see from my marks, I have got an arrear in your subject. I was extremely shocked and disturbed at the out come of the exam results.
Second one is, you can change my marks. I have valid points and hope you would appreciate my reasoning. I think my marks should have been different in your course. It should be changed from 25 to 70 for the following reasons:
1. The persons who copied my paper has got more marks than I did.
2. The person whose paper I copied has got more marks than I did.
3. This course will lower my overall percentage and I won't get into:
PG course.
My dream Company
My home.
4. Only If I get 70 marks, will I at least leave the college with First Class. Please understand that if the marks don’t change even my kid sister will not respect me.
5. You should also understand that during your class hours I was involved in the Culturals of our College. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.
6.I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact.
7. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles.
8. If you still don’t think of changing my marks, then it is b’cos, you are prejudiced against:
Girls.
Beautiful Girls.
Intelligent & Beautiful Girls.
People
Students
College (Pls. refer the 5th point which I cannot re-write)
9. By changing the marks, I would stay with my parents and will not become an orphan. You will never have to feel guilty that you have made an orphan.
10. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following reasons:
A cat walked past me when I started for the exam
I broke my little finger
My sister was not well the previous night.
I was alone at home as my parents had taken her to hospital.
I thought my father was pregnant, for he has a paunch.
11. If anyone calls me Quarter, its because of you.
12. You have asked as not to by heart all the lessons and be creative. I was creative and you said that am becoming Crazy.
13. The lectures were too detailed to pick out important points and not explained in sufficient detail. When the whole class complained that the you were boring, only I defended that your classes are a real lullaby.
14. I also want a change of Department because, you rain a lot during your lectures and its becoming extremely difficult to sit in the 1st row and not get wet.
15. If you still have not changed my marks at least change my department. This is a request and not a warning.
I promise you that even if you don’t change my department and my marks, I will not harm you with a hockey stick nor will I give 50 miss calls to your house number in the from 11 pm to 3 am. Neither will I conduct condolence meeting on your Wedding Anniversary.
Yours Obediently,
Bee
1st year
A Section.
Note: If you decide to transfer me to some other department, please consult with me before deciding on the department.
And Now
I had actually wanted to tell who the Winner is, but well I thought You all would be as Intelligent as Me!!!
Sorry Guys! I should have expected too much from you!!! That too knowing well that you guys are reading my blog.... Now I know the difference between being intelligently and acting intelligently
The WINNER is REACH ME TO FIND ME!!!! And Santosh walks away as the Winner!!!!
Now Santosh as promised here is a list for the GIFT, choose whichever you want You would have it as your Gift
1. pOST oN yOU
2. pOST oN yOU
3. pOST oN yOU
As you all have uniformly shown your regret for not annoucing the Winner, you left out on the 100th Post topic... So the next post will be the 101st Post....
Sorry Guys! I should have expected too much from you!!! That too knowing well that you guys are reading my blog.... Now I know the difference between being intelligently and acting intelligently
The WINNER is REACH ME TO FIND ME!!!! And Santosh walks away as the Winner!!!!
Now Santosh as promised here is a list for the GIFT, choose whichever you want You would have it as your Gift
1. pOST oN yOU
2. pOST oN yOU
3. pOST oN yOU
As you all have uniformly shown your regret for not annoucing the Winner, you left out on the 100th Post topic... So the next post will be the 101st Post....
----------------XXXX-----------------
I actually wanna say the results but before that, let me just go thru the titles that have come across....
Santosh: The Lost Bee ---- ( hey am very much alive and living)
Scribbler: Bee in Wonderland ( Will I meet the Mad Hatter and the March Hare in the never ending Tea Party?)
Chronic Writer: Funny Pee ( Yuck! How could Pee be Funny?)
Purple Heart: Those were the days ( Haan For this even without saying the name, I would have guessed this)
Vigneswaralu: Nostalgic about College Days ( True.... But...)
The following suggestions came from my room mate, my school friend ad college Friends
KS: Bee at her Best( she is my room mate.. pls pray for her.....she lives (?) with me!!!! and alive still!!!!!)
School Friends
D: Intermission - I attend Class ( What the hell is this di?)
VJ: Noodles Time ( Cant you think something out of the box at least now man? Will you ever change? )
Instead of me selecting why not you say that also...Makkal theerpey magesan theerpu...
( Oooffff somehow I have managed to create a post today....!!! So what's for tomorrow?)
Do you know, tomorrow if i create a post i would be 5+15+25+35+5+15 th post... that means today's post is 3+13+23+33+3+13+11th post!!!!
Now what do you want me to write tomorrow?
The boy next home
Poor KS
My School story
A mail that I recieved (This is not a forward)
Or Shall I not post the 100th post and goto 101 straight away?
Long long Ago, so long ago, will not say how long ago (will you not guess that my age is 23) when I was in my college, I loved my college more than anything else. We were a group of five. For us, only we were human beings. Those who welcomed were considered us half human beings. We all believed in Karl Marx. All are Equal. Yes. Right from college watchman to Princi for us, they were all Aliens.
For any extra curricular activity, if the department needs us, they first go by looking at these places only.
The College Bus Shed: When we have no other thing to do, we would be here. This is the place where we secretly read an Old (6 months old) Play Boy Book. Also, the place where we read Women’s Era and its restricted pages. We smuggled them from Library. The funniest thing is we started reading Women’s Era after our Librarian started stapling certain pages. Till then, we have never kept our hands on that.
There are other things which I cannot type down here, which we did at this Bus Shed.
The Chapel: Have I not told you that am a God fearing person? Right from my schooling I had been pucca in this. Out of the 5, I was very sincere and regular in going to Chapel. I would go and sit and start practicing Yoga. My friends made
The Canteen: MY father was not a good pay master. He would drop me at the College and Pick me up in the Evening. I only had Rs.100/- extra all the time. The same goes with 3 more girls and the other one was a hosteller. But, I have a lovely Nanny. She opened an account for me at the College canteen. She would come and settle the bill, every month on 5th. Therefore we had an uninterrupted access to Canteen. The Canteen Aunty too liked me because in the whole of the college, I gave her good business.
The Library: The best place I ever enjoyed. Hey You! Stop thinking that I got my reading Habit from here. That habit started only after I left College. Before I elaborate anything on this let us take a short break…..from this
Have you heard of Palm size land Line Phone intruments? It had just been introduced at Burma Bazaar. They were charging between Rs.300-Rs.400/-. With just Rs.100/- which we had to produce as and when enquired by my Mr. & Mrs. Hitler, our hands were tied. Whom else could we go to?
With all options closed and no other option open, we went to Canteen. Banish (that’s how we call her) had that art. She laid her hands in the Kalla Potti (Cash Box). No, don’t call it stealing. After all, it was our aunty, our canteen and our kalla potti. Only thing is, she didn’t see us taking it. She calls us her kids. Dont you know that Inheritance is not stealing? Her money was our money. But, we had a rule. We never took a single penny extra. We bought that phone using this money.
Cut short the story, we bought this telephone to go to library. You should see our Librarian. Post Lunch she lived in her own world. We never disturbed her. Quite as cat we will go to the rear end of the huge library, where even the library assistants won’t come. Now don’t think that we were reading something GOOOOOD… All we had did was, we clipped the library phone cable. We instantly worked for Sun TV. We were Pepsi Ungal Choice techies. On a day, every one of us had a roll to play. We were directors, Camera Man, Program Host to what not? We have called ourselves Subshree Thanikachalam, James Vasanthan, or Pepsi Uma etc. We had adorned it all. How many programs we had created? One kind of that program is Idhu Jilpons Neram!!! The current form is Comedy Time…
Alas! why did I start telling this... Yeah these were the places where we could be found if we were inside the college campus. If they still don’t find us anywhere, they would then go to the class room. That too, if the class was in the middle of a lecture, they would look for us the next day.
Now why did I start telling all of this………hmmmmmmm? I will tell you that in the next Post, but for this post, I don’t have a Title.
So, here is the competition. Guess a title for this. The Winner has a Surprise!!!
I am not George Bush!
Have you ever written an imposition? Yes! The ones the teachers force us to do for not listening in the class? I remember it’s still as fresh as the coffee my mom gives me at 6 am. I called my mom this morning. She said my College Principal had been there, (with whom she had become very friendly, reason: Invariably, this Poor Bee).
She had been there to invite us for her son’s wedding. She was the one who gave me a set of rules and made me write 50 times. When the whole world gives the syllabus subject as imposition, she was the only different woman. My dad had preserved almost all the imposition I have done in School. He has also got the last one I did in my college. He has them all to show to his unborn grand children!
(IF you still have me around, all these will follow me to my grave.)
This imposition she made me write when I was in the 5th Semester. Not without a reason. I was late to college as usual. This time, I got caught by her. She liked me. But, she always used to have a stern look at me.
Princi: Why are you late Bee?
Me: There is a sign down the road …
Princi: Don’t you have any other reason? What could be there in a sign possibly have to do with you being late?
Me: The sign says, College Ahead. Go Slow.
She looked into my eyes and said
Princi: Follow Me.
Me: That’s what I have been doing. My mom still complains about my behavior.
Princi: I asked you to come with me to my room. Don’t speak unless and until I ask you to.
Whatever I wrote as imposition, I asked my mom to dictate it over the phone and has given it to you as religiously as I could.
A burp is not an answer.
I will not eat in the class.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not bring my squirrel to class.
I will not bury the new comer under the bench.
I will not call the principal Spud Head.
I will not park my vehicle in staff parking place.
I will not sit in the last row anymore.
I will not draw in the class room board.
I will not write with my key on the principal's car bonnet.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I will not fake seizures.
I will not cry for my grandfather who died even before I was born.
I will not instigate revolution.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not sell school property.
I will not make jokes in the library.
I will not sleep through in the class.
I will not snap bras.
I will not spank others.
I will not torment the emotionally frail.
I will not trade my dress with others.
I will not waste chalk.
I will not yell SHE’S DEAD at roll call.
I will not play Pacha Kuthirai inside the college and in the class especially.
No one is interested in my undies.
The cafeteria is not my play ground
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
Warning/Disclaimer/Note ( Keep it as you like it!) : The title and the post has no links whatsoever. All I tried to do was give a title to this post.
Some sweet nonsense
I was goin thru Nina's joke blog and found this one interesting pls. read
I have added my own comment as he thinks
I have added my own comment as he thinks
Remember the college day's kadalai???—
He calls She
She: Hello!
He: What the doing?
She: Ippo dhaan saaptu mudichen. Sir enna pannitu irukaaru?
He: Ippo dhaan 'Suttum vizhi sudare' paatu paathen Sun Music la
She: Nalla paatu.
(And then she hums the line 'mazhai azhagha veyil azhagha')
He: hey!!!!Nee ivlo nalla paaduviya
(He thinks: Asthiram Onnu)
She: *giggles*
He: Hey. Innoru vaati paadaen
(He thinks: Eppavchum paadurathukku muyarchi pannu.. lawyer law point argue panra maadhiriye irukku)
She: En room mates ellam thoongita. Ava bayandhuduva
He: Come on! Please!
(He thinks: Adiyai naan mattum enna vidhi vilakka? enakku match paakkanum adhukku thoongama irukkanum.. nee konjam paadi bayamudithna paravailai)
She: Poada. I don't sing that well
He: It was really sweet. Please paaden
She: Enakku odd aa irukku da
He: Idhula ennama irukku. Nalla paadare.
(He thinks: ammadi ennalaiye en poiya jeeranikka mudiyalaiye)
She: Nee dhaan sollanum
He: Ippo paaduviya maatiya?
(He thinks:please vittuden.. paadidatha)
She: yaenda paduththare
He: Sigh! Ok
(He thinks: Yaaru naana)
She: I don't have that great voice
He: hmmmm
(He thinks: Theiirja sari)
She: Seri. Ivlo kaekkare. Unakaaga ore oru stanza paadaren
He: Great!!!!
(He thinks: ayyoda)
She: Endha paatu paadatum?
He: Hmmmm. 'un perai sonnale' from dum dum dum?
She: Nice song. But enakku lyrics gnabagam illai
He: Chinna chinna aasai?
She: Illai indha paate paadaren
He: Cool
(She clears her throat, hums a line and then)
(He thinks: edhukku onnum kuraichal illai)
She: Illai vendaam. Am feeling very shy!
He: Paadu she paadu. Un isai endra inba vellathil neendha odoadi vandha
ennai yemtradhe she. Paadu
She: Galatta panre paathiya
He: No no. Nee shy aa feel panre illaiya. Trying to make u cool
She: Hmmm
She: naaLaikku paadatumaaa?
He: Seri maa. Unakku eppadi thonaradho appadiye pannu
She: Hmmm
He: Good night
(He thinks: Ennakku bill yaerittey irukku .. dhayavusaidhu vachiru)
She: Good night
After a while She calls He
She: Thoongitya
He: Illai ma. Match paathundu irundhen
(He thinks: Idhellam oru question)
She: Seri. Nee match paaru
He: Hey. Its ok. Pazhaya match dhaan.
(He thinks: Vera vazhi .. )
She: Illai. Did u feel bad I didn't sing?
(Since it is a tricky question, He thinks for a while)
He: Bad appadinu solla maaten. But I want you to be comfortable first.
naaLaikku paadaren sonne illa. So me waiting
(He thinks: Adiyai idhellam onakku konjam overa padala)
She sings 1 stanza from the song
He: Wow. Too good!
(He thinks: Ennaiya vechu comedy keemady pannalaiye?)
She: Poarum. I know how kevalam my voice is
He: Hey you really sing well.
She: Poada...Nee sollanume appadinu solre
He: Cha! Cha! Un voice nalla illaati naan ivlo kaekkave maaten
He: Nee ivLo nalla paaduve enakku theriyaadhu
(He thinks: Onnaya pathi onakku ivvalavu therinjum.. ennaiya paduthalama?)
She: Hmmm! Seri good night
He: Good night!
(He thinks: Escaaaaaaaape)
She: Take care
He: You too
She: Nejamaave en voice nalla irundadhaa
He: Nejamma! Ofcourse.
(He thinks: Mudiayalai .....Somebody please save me................)
She: Nee poi solre
He: Not at all. You sing very well
(He thinks: Nee azhaga irukkannu sonnadha vida idhu paravaillai)
She: Hmmm. Ennamo solre. Good night.
He: Good Night!!
So after successfully wishing she 'good night' for the umpteenth time,
our He hangs up the phone
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