Showing posts with label Anxiety.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anxiety.... Show all posts

Where are You?

Am asking those who spoke in length and breadth, who wrote long posts about the stupid men who over powered women and nun in Orissa!!! Who spoke in volumes about the sanctity. Let you not be mis quoted that am against religion or any beliefs.

I don't speak secularism. I am not secular. At the same time am not prejudiced. If something is wrong then its wrong. His/Her belief doesn't bother me.

I say this, because for I know all those who speak so much about equality and secularism are only but pseudo secularists. If all I have learnt and understood is true and correct, then I known only One Secularist and he is E.V.R.

Why am I looking for the Evangelists, the catholics, the baptists now? For am seeking a honest answer from them for this Former Sister Jesmi.

What was the one mistake she did? She joined the congregation. Was it a heinous decision that she took? Does wanting to serve the God means adjusting the Church Heads?

All I have to do now is ...Talk to a Machine

AM researching to know more about Answering Machines. My quest to know about AM has gone high, ever since my company offered to place an answering machine for me!

The concept of AM confuses me. If AM ’s are meant to answer for us, how will it identify the questions? Well, even if we take they could understand, are there any evaluation process for this? If they could answer, I want to ask my dad, why he didn’t think of gifting me when I was in Need. That is when, I was writing my Accounts paper successfully unsuccessful for the 11th time.

Unlike you all, I tend to clear my queries then and there. I went to my boss cabin and asked him. He was appalled. HE wanted to know whether am in any kind of a pressure getting a new machine.

Later, my boss called up and asked me to prepare a message for the AM. I really wonder what type of people would call me! What will anyone have to speak with me? I asked my mom, why she has limited the no. of calls she does to me. My mom says, she is at a loss of words whenever she even thinks of speaking to me!

Anyway I have to choose from below any one answer for all the type of question I am going to receive:

Hi. This is Bee. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a male and never married, don't worry, my dad has got enough money to get me married to you. If you are calling regarding anything official, better you call the office nos. there are some people in my office unlike me, who are really working.

Hi, I'm not at office right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Be sure you don’t ask any question. Just speak after you hear the beep.

Hello, you are about to talk to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. Bee is my owner at the moment. She doesn’t need a personal loan, she already has a mobile, and she also has got a vehicle. Neither is she interested in getting a credit card nor a life insurance. She is already insured, both by the company and by her dad. If you're not from any of those companies and still with me, leave your name and number and if she has patience and time to hear all your stupid messages, she might get back to you.

Hi, my office timings are between 9.30 am to 7.00pm. Reach me tomorrow at the given time.

Hi, I think I have already started for home. If you think that am probably avoiding someone, you might be right. I t could even be you. Why don’t you leave a message, your name and number? If I don’t want to avoid you, I would call you back.

HI, this is my office no. I don’t over work. Call me tomorrow. If the call is for your purpose you need to call me. If it’s for my sake, would you still mind calling me back after 9.30 am.?

Hi, don’t waste your time in speaking to the machine. Better call me after 9.30 am and before 7 pm on all weekdays.

The Disaster!

I was in my home for the weekend. My dad after going thru my blog felt it’s the time for him to speak it up or is it with me? Ok. Something. We spoke for nearly 1hr. At first when he drove me to beach, I never knew what was in store for me! As we sat down, the first thing I enjoyed was the cool breeze. I, at that point never knew that I would be sweating later!

Even as I type down this I hesitate but cannot resist the temptation to share with you. Lemme introduce my dad to you. He is a Central Govt. Employee. A good citizen. An avid reader. But I never knew that he is a fan of Bruce Cameron! I never thought that this columnist could dampen my life.

Dad: Bee, my child. I understand your plight of not getting married still. I have been going thru your blog. You seem to be much worried about your single status.

(Me: C’mon dad, I was just expecting this. God! The blog has at last started to work in my favour)

Dad: Have you heard about the 8 Simple Rules of Dating my Teenage Daughter? Bruce has actually made me think and re-think my choices for a suitable groom!

Me: What’ that to do with me? BTW am not your teenage daughter! Am well past that and waiting to get married! Who the hell is that Bruce? (Don’t you feel the panic in me?)

Dad: I thought you would always come with a guy and say that you have fallen in love with that guy and you would want to marry him?

Me: Just think dad! Have you ever given me a break! Everyday you would be the one who would come and pick me up! (Gosh! I was exhausted!)

Dad: Look, there are things that I look in a man for you. If he doesn’t fall under that category, how do you expect me to get you married to him?

Me: I lost my temper. Now what’s that you are looking for?

Dad: I have been trying to get a suitable groom. But this is what I look in a guy.

1. He might be the most handsome guy on earth. But when it comes to getting married to you, I would double check him thru a detective agency. He should be a tee to taller!

2. HE should not be a Scientist, an IT guy, A sales person, a financial guy etc., the pay is good. But almost all the guys whom I see go bald at an early age and wear spectacles.

3.HE should be 3 yrs. Elder to you. For this, I will not be able to give your age. I know its not fair to disclose a girl’s age even if it happens to be my daughter.

4.Should not have a good appetite. I say this because: he will have to eat your cooking. If in case he has a good appetite, he should be willing to cook every day and every meal.

5.When I see him for the first time I will not invite him home; it will be in a public place; could be a restaurant of my choice. But, the bill will never be shared. He should be magnanimous enough to pay!

6.When I see him for the first time his dressing counts. He cannot wear a Jeans. I hate it! He cannot wear a trouser with side pockets. No Funky T-Shirts please. I don’t want him in a formal wear either. It reflects that he loves to work more than loving my daughter! He cannot wear a dhoti! He might look outdated and you might think that I have chosen an out of fashion crackpot!

7.I will not be taking you while I meet him. But all our conversations would be recorded. I will give him your photo only after I approve of you and after your mom and sis give their consent.

8.Once everything is finalized and only after that can he talk to you. All your talks should be over the phone only. He should pay your mobile bill. While you are away at office the mobile will be with me!

9.He cannot take you outside. If in case he has to, you will be promptly accompanied by me or by your mom. You will have to sit in the passenger seat behind and if it’s your mom, then she will sit with you. If it’s me, then he should be glad for I will sit next to him. After all he won’t feel lonely!

10. He should have a neat face. I mean...No stubble like AB Jr. and should have a neat trimmed moustache and properly groomed side burns.

And so he continued… it went on and on…. We were in home after that! I was perspiring and went to have a bath as if to wash of all I had heard! I even pricked me hoping that all I heard was not true but I have dreamt! I yelled in pain. My mom came running. Poor thing, she would not what had happened. I wanted to pour out what i had heard. Something inside me was crumpling. Was that my dreams? Dutifully I told her.

Me: Ma, papa just told me the kind of guy he is looking for me? Recited her everything.How is he able to think so weird?

Mom: Bee darling, how could you think that your father for once has used his brains? She grinned and left!!!!!!!!!

I getting married is in the distant future. May be I would be 60 and a Virgin still!

Note: This could be a long post. Blame it on Bruce or blame my dad. But am pathetic.


Am Reading

Chackoo.. this is how we call her.... She is 20 yrs old and doing her UG. Nothing wrong! But what troubles me is this. She says she is in Love! There is this guy who comes and meets her regularly, takes her out, gifts her occasionally....Then there is another girl.. she is Mony... She is doing her P.G. she is going to get engaged in a couple of weeks. She is 22 yrs old.

There are so many girls living in the same hostel as I am. Every day I see someone or the other going and coming in with their chosen partner! What world is this? Isn't there one single person in this world to fall madly in love with me? To Flatter Me, Gift Me huh!!! Very Bad eh! Is there no one to understand the heart of this Humble Bee! Gosh! I have been repeatedly saying this to my dad and mom...

Now don't ask what is the link between the title Am reading and this Post? Am just unable to bear all these collaborations happening right in front of Me! All I have is a little heart... a really small one.. but no one to steal!

I was sharing my agony to one of my pals, she says, guys are not that interested in looks, so anyway you have a chance; but they wanna a person with 400 gms inside their head! Do anyone of you know what she means by that? After hearing this, I went to a weighing machine. The man there never allowed me to weigh my head. After a bit of confusion and talks I weighed my head! OH My God! My head weighs 1000 gms...Ooops! How do i reduce the weight in my head alone, now?

May be, am poor at choosing a guy...may be the guys whom I have met, finds me too intelligent that they fear, that they are not the right match for me...! Err... may be it's because I dunno about men! Anyway, Am reading a book; This is not to enhance my knowledge; Its for me to understand M.E.N ( Mad, Egotist Nerd); The book is What a Man needs ...

Lemme see if I land up getting One!

One more thing! All those guys and friends of Mine... LISTEN... Santosh and Vigneswarulu
has asked me to whip your A** for not commenting! Well those of you who can come in person to get their piece of Whip are welcome and those who cannot come in person... Haaaaaa! What do i do? Santosh and Vignesh you temme!

I dont wanna be Exposed!

It has never occurred to me for once how hard it would be for Ash, SRK, Big B or Tom Cruise and Jolie.... Am speaking about the difficulties in being what they are..

All of my friends whom have spoken or mailed are trying to mollify... Its because am angry and upset...Am upset at being exposed.. all my efforts to keep my identity sealed has gone in vain...

When i started going to drawing class and after my meeting with the alumni, i never thought that I would have to undergo this...All I have done is, I have a blog to write and have decided to own a boutique! Thats it! it sounds simple! It isn't as simple as it sounds...

All these days i was just one another passerby and the posts which i write has given me some unexpected and unwarranted limelight...! I agree! Initially, I have even found it amusing when people called up or write to me just to hear me or receive a mail from me...I have heard that Paparazzi and attention seekers do something unbelievable ....there are some crazy people who would just want to touch their idol... some would want to kiss some would threaten....I thought all those reports are blown up and given to the mass... Now am being made to believe that its all true...

I didn't know what mistake I did... for the past 24 hrs... someone I know not who, has kept me away from my mode of communication.. My Mobile...The technology has always astonished me.. Somehow she has managed to divert all the calls I make to land in her number...Every time I try to make a call, she answers it.. Even with incoming calls I have the same problem...Could this be done..

Is this a prize am paying to become the most wanted celeb? I even blasted her this morning for doing this to me...she says Thank You...Fortunately and to my good luck I have a land line no. thru which am able to call up people.. Its highly tormenting.. Do you have any idea to save me out of this mess? Has the technology improved so much that without the users will and knowledge, all the calls could be diverted? I don't think that even Aamir Khan would be undergoing this after he started his own blog!

She's been persistent and has not changed her words; Let me tell you what she's been saying ever since she started doing this to me: Sorry! The outgoing call facility has been barred for this no. Your credit limit has exceeded. Please pay your bill before the end of this week for uninterrupted Service. Thank You.

Now that I have told you all, am feeling a bit relieved! Oooofh! What can I do now am clueless!

More bang your head reads:
To be(e) or not to be (e); but its not about Pee!
Am Diturbed!


Lkie I hvae a Porlbem...

Problems Problems Problems.. the probability of Bee getting into some kind of a problem is becoming more.. it is inversely proportional to the rate of transfer of money from her bank account and directly proportional to her becoming poor...

Well, if you dont understand a bit of what am trying to say its either because you dont know mathematical terms or its me who simply doesn't know the meaning of it. In simple terms what am trying to say is I have got a problem. When I try to find a solution the money is fast reducing from my bank account.

Well when I say problems,a m not speaking about Differential Equations or Calculus or Vectors which we ...sorry you all studied in some class....Am speaking about the problem which am facing at the moment.

Once again you are sadly mistaken. When I say am facing, I didn't mean that I was standing in front of a mirror. I normally don't look at mirrors. I just cant afford buying new ones every time it breaks.Does anyone know why the mirrors break automatically when I look at it?

Gosh! coming back to what the issue is. I will have to tell you what happened yesterday.

Me: Boo, I have a problem
Boo: Where?
Me: Eye.
Boo: I know you have a problem. But, tell me clearly. Maybe I will have time to run.
Me: I have a problem in the Eye.
Boo: Oh! I see !
Me: No. I don't see.
Boo: Oh! God! Whats the problem?
Me: I have a blurred vision. I am not able to see things clearly
Boo: Go and See a Doctor
Me: I went and saw him. Even he was looking blurred to me.

I dint know what happened after that. I saw Boo raising her hand. One hour after that I woke up in my room. Why?

What wrong did I do?

I always consider photos to be the best way to preserve the sweet/sour/hot/bitter (or whichever taste you like) memories. But in no instance have I troubled others by thrusting my album in their hands.
Reason 1. I don't like unnecessary publicity.
2. Am very good looking (in the dark) and my exact beauty doesn't reflect in the photos. My mom says Am not photogenic.

Last week my brothers friend had been here from the U.S.of A. My bro called up asking me to help his friend. He was here on a personal visit to my work city for 2 days. The amount of pics he had with him ... My ...My... in the customs they would've charged them for extra luggage. More to it, his wife came and sat near me and started explaining them. I dunno why, but I wasnt able to get along well with these guys.

Bee, this was taken at the Disney Land...Look at this, this was when we had been to Niagara. This is our Car. You know she is Mrs. XYZ.... my neighbour from Italy. She gave me a wonderful memorablia on her return from Italy.Oops! She was like taking the heat out of me. She was talking and talking and talking....Buzzzz...!!!

She:BEe, What happened you are sleeping.
ME: ME, Sleeping?...No actually I was Meditating
She: ?!? What
ME: My dad has said, whenever you are in trouble or in deep shit.. meditate. Am practising it...
She: You naughty... Joking ... Good Good Good

( Me thinking adi paavi! en kashtathai sonna unakku sirippa irukku)

More to it they made my day worse. They took my car. And thankfully let me in peace. Day 2 was the day they were leaving. So I started early to meet them at their hotel. No. Not that I liked them or missed them. My car was with them. WE went for an early breakfast. Had it not been me there, with them, I bet they would have gone for the complimentary breakfast which the hotel offers. This is what happened then:

Waiter: Can I help you Mam?
She: Kewl...( she meant to say cool) could you get me some bacons, 2 HotDogs, steaks and some Bread Toast for 2 with Peanut Butter?
Waiter: madam, please have a lok at the menu card and lemme know what you want madam. I will ready to take your orders.

He and She after going thru the Menu

She: Horrible eh?!? How do you people live in India?
Me: I was like giving her my readymade smile... :)
(Me: its just one year you have gone there ... all times huh! mudiyalai )

Bee, I need a bottle of Aquafina or Kinley. This water which you people drink doesnt suit me....

Inside my brains it was like Aaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!! Dei Santa ( my bro) magane nee mattum ippo en kaila maatuna nalaikku unakku paaludhaandi( i mean, Santa, if only you are here before me i will kill you)....

After 2 days of smiling and artificial exclamations they left...I started my car from the airport.. Shucks ! my petrol tank is dry!

To be(e) or not to be(e) but its not about Pee!

Each of us are in one state or the other… Shucks man... Am not speaking about Tamilnadu, Andhra, Kerala…and certainly not solid, liquid and gas state..Its about the state of mind…I am in 3 succinct state of mind... Yes ... Yours truly Honey Bee has Mind.
Best State:
Honey Bee is back from her brief hiatus, which makes her happy. Do yourself a favor and watch out for more interesting reads here.
My best friend has given birth to a baby girl.
To cool of this hotty hot summer I had a Tub of Ice cream.
Worse State:
I paid for the Ice-cream
I have a load of dresses to be washed for this Sunday.
I am expecting all my readers ( phew! Do I have Any?) to click me as your favorite in Technorati!

I will be missing the movie Oceans 13.

My map loco shows readers from across the World. But I am left with No Comments. Hypothetically speaking, No one reads this blog. ( Sigh! Am I wasting my time ?!? )

Everyone around me is getting engaged, married or on their family way. Even after declaring that am Single No Developments. It's simply not working.

Worst State:

Even after reading all this, my father still remains silent. He says he cannot risk a man’s life!...
I received this photo in my mail box. Check it out! If its you, I promise to post your photo!

Am Disturbed...

Yes! Am extremely disturbed and petrified with the proceedings in our State. The reason for this is , one of the media houses of Sun Network has been burnt at Madurai. Because of some survey report. My mom, told me, why are you getting into blogging, it might land you up in trouble. Its my mistake I should have listened to her.

Only recently have I started to Blog. How will a budding Writer.. ok ok.. Typer like me will feel secured? There is no security. I am actually trying to get the I.G's appointment. In a day day or two when I meet him, I will have to explain him and convince him to extend security to all the writers and bloggers.

BTW, I should also write a mail to IndiBloggies, not to announce any awards or conduct poll. If in case by any chance I dont get nominated for the Best blogger of the year, am afraid what my fanatic readers would do?I also extend a plea to all my fanatic readers, dont get agitated if anything goes wrong. After all am not for awards, you see...