Well, Let me first apologise for not updating regularly. But today I decided come what may, I would Wish You all....Each and every on of us carry some sweet memory of some new year...Here is what that happened some years back.....
I think at that time I was in 9 or 10 STD. I had an elder sister then. Infact she was not like me. She was very good looking, talented and on the contrary she was very intelligent. On that year, she had joined college.
Unlike me who would go back home a bit early to late night, she comes home on time ...somewhere between 4.00 - 5.00 pm. If she would be coming late, she would keep my mom posted.
Date: Dec.31...
Time: 6.00
Mom's position: Running between the entrance to Kitchen and to the terrace to have the view of the road. Poor thing not even once did she remember then that the coconut trees around my home would hide the view. I saw her jumping to get the view of the road...
Time:6.30 pm
Mom's position: Seated at the entrance. Actually i called her inside. But I think she was enjoying the kisses from all the mosquitoes.
Time: 7.00 pm
Mom's position: Running between Street corner and house. That was when the girl in the next street came to see my sister....I had nick named her as Kanchenjunga...dont ask me the secret of that name, then I would forced to say a lie that it was her teeth....
KJGA: hi bee. call ur sis.
Me: Whoa. So you have come home is it?
KJGA: What r u trying to say?
Me: It means she hasnt come home as yet. Wait lemme call my mom
My mom: KJ, did you both not come together?
KJ: Ho, no autny..actually i didnt go to college today.
( I very well knew that it was a lie. JUst before she had told me that my sis left on time and that she had been to the library.)
Me: Is it? Oh OH!!
With that she stared at me and left my worrying mother more worried.
Me: Amma, I think she would have eloped with someone...
My mom: Dare not speak about my gal to me...k...
Me: Ok..She escaped...and am like the monkey stuck in between...
Time: 8.00 pm...
Mom: In the verge of crying..
ME: Mamma look here.. i know she doesnt have the guts to elope...but you have to think of other options as well...May be some one could have kidnapped her...
Mom: Please will you stop that nonsesnse
Me: Yeah! I only want to but...
Mom: What will i say to your Dad?
Me: There u are...so you are worried that pappa would scold you is it?
Don worry I will call him up and tell him...( that time my Dad was placed at Vadodara..)
Mom: shut up!
I wasnt bullied or never felt insulted.. afterall she is my mom. she has every right to say it...
Me:Huh! If they had kidnapped her, why no one has called us to ask for ransom?
Me: Lets hope that they dont spoil her....
Thud ....oh that was the sound of the bat which she threw at me...
Time: 8.30 pm
Mom: Took a cold bath. Came out shivering. Prayed to our Lord for her safe return. You know the funniest part was, she wanted her priceless daughter for just Re. 1/- which she tied in a small yellow cloth and kept it it the hundi...
Time: 8.45 pm
My sis returned...She was all smiles...not worried, there was no ounce of tension that she had been late...she walked in cooly...
After all the shouts and arguments.. she had been to her friends place.. she had called us..no one answered the phone.. so she taught that we have all gone out and that she would come a bit late. SHe had been tryin and tryin till 8.15 and after that she had started from her friends place. Hoping to fight with us for leaving her.
Incidentally the phone was out of order from noon. She certainly didnt know....
That's the end of the story...
Wish you all a Happy Happy and a Most happening NEW YEAR...............
Showing posts with label Intelligently. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Intelligently. Show all posts
To Mam with Love....:)
Each one of us would have either been a participant or a spectator or a member of the organizing team in a Cultural Event. BE it in School, College or at least in your office....Isn't it? If you have not come across any of this, then better close this window. This crap is not just for you. For one, you will not understand ; Two, you are a dumb ass....
Now those whose ass is not as Dumb as SLB... and those who had had fun inasmuch as I had....Have you ever been the M.C?
As you all know that in my college I am the most wanted when it comes to organizing or emceeing....Till that date I thought was good for Nothing but never knew that Talking Non Stop would get the attention of my college....Let me cut the Long Blah Blah Blahs....This is what happened when I did M.C. for the first time... I was more like the Instant Uppuma.... the good looking girl who had to M.C. that day was unable to do it for unknown reasons (Actually she eloped with her boy friend and got married!!! Charges were borne by us - I will tell you in another post what happened)
Moreover it was the inter cultural event once. Participants from other colleges were there. We had a series of events to be conducted. The elocution was going on its full spree and to the shock of my college mgmt. none of them paid attention.
I was to announce the next event that followed elocution. There was so much catcalls and hisses. It was my first attempt at emceeing. My appearance with the program list was welcomed with a farewell clap...For a moment I thought am gonna wet my pants...There I was standing patiently for them to come to silence.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I began...the catcall and hisses started anew...
Oh am sorry. I didn't mean to insult anyone..... (Sigh! At last I got their attention....) Now May I welcome our beloved Chief guest to deliver his Speech...that was to be followed by the Cultural Secretary of the College and it was to be followed by the Principal to deliver her........blah blah blah........)
One thing about my Principal is she is a lady of Wits and Quotes. Of all things for what all I am today, she is the one I have to thank. She had a sharp sense of humor and has a way to get things done...
I remember once that for an intra college function we asked her permission to present a tamil skit. Well, we had an unwritten rule that everything should be conducted in English. To our disbelief she said yes.. while she was to disperse from the meeting she said " Well you may do as you wish, but don't you think that English is the medium in which all of us have to excel?" And so we dropped the idea of having a Tamil skit....
Well let me come back to this post....To the dismay of the participants and the viewers all the speaker spoke in length and carried their bulky speech....Visibly brightened crowd welcomed her with a huge applause... someone went overboard and said..Thank you so much you dont have loads of things to say.....
After all those thank you messages...The lady of wits and quotes related to some Lord Goodman....He once said " When a man speaks from notes, at least you know he/she is going to end sometime."
That was it the crowd was tounge tied...And then she spoke for another 3- 4 mins and left the stage....
So now why am I saying this....Its that This morning when I opened my Mail box I had a mail from her.. Wishing Me for Children's Day...However notorious I could be... She is one person who will forgive me ....likes me and wishes me good luck... Thank you Mam...for all your love and I know you are a silent visitor here...This post is for YOU...You are Truly, Simply Special....
Now those whose ass is not as Dumb as SLB... and those who had had fun inasmuch as I had....Have you ever been the M.C?
As you all know that in my college I am the most wanted when it comes to organizing or emceeing....Till that date I thought was good for Nothing but never knew that Talking Non Stop would get the attention of my college....Let me cut the Long Blah Blah Blahs....This is what happened when I did M.C. for the first time... I was more like the Instant Uppuma.... the good looking girl who had to M.C. that day was unable to do it for unknown reasons (Actually she eloped with her boy friend and got married!!! Charges were borne by us - I will tell you in another post what happened)
Moreover it was the inter cultural event once. Participants from other colleges were there. We had a series of events to be conducted. The elocution was going on its full spree and to the shock of my college mgmt. none of them paid attention.
I was to announce the next event that followed elocution. There was so much catcalls and hisses. It was my first attempt at emceeing. My appearance with the program list was welcomed with a farewell clap...For a moment I thought am gonna wet my pants...There I was standing patiently for them to come to silence.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I began...the catcall and hisses started anew...
Oh am sorry. I didn't mean to insult anyone..... (Sigh! At last I got their attention....) Now May I welcome our beloved Chief guest to deliver his Speech...that was to be followed by the Cultural Secretary of the College and it was to be followed by the Principal to deliver her........blah blah blah........)
One thing about my Principal is she is a lady of Wits and Quotes. Of all things for what all I am today, she is the one I have to thank. She had a sharp sense of humor and has a way to get things done...
I remember once that for an intra college function we asked her permission to present a tamil skit. Well, we had an unwritten rule that everything should be conducted in English. To our disbelief she said yes.. while she was to disperse from the meeting she said " Well you may do as you wish, but don't you think that English is the medium in which all of us have to excel?" And so we dropped the idea of having a Tamil skit....
Well let me come back to this post....To the dismay of the participants and the viewers all the speaker spoke in length and carried their bulky speech....Visibly brightened crowd welcomed her with a huge applause... someone went overboard and said..Thank you so much you dont have loads of things to say.....
After all those thank you messages...The lady of wits and quotes related to some Lord Goodman....He once said " When a man speaks from notes, at least you know he/she is going to end sometime."
That was it the crowd was tounge tied...And then she spoke for another 3- 4 mins and left the stage....
So now why am I saying this....Its that This morning when I opened my Mail box I had a mail from her.. Wishing Me for Children's Day...However notorious I could be... She is one person who will forgive me ....likes me and wishes me good luck... Thank you Mam...for all your love and I know you are a silent visitor here...This post is for YOU...You are Truly, Simply Special....
Now I understand that
There is a price for everything...
That too if it turns out to be the most intelligent blogger (!); with the most dashing looks the price is heavy....Especially being Bee... I never knew that I had t pay so much....Its becoming really tough these days that my life is being threatened...If Shrija and Shreesha could claim asylum at the hands of law stating fear of life.. Why should I not?
As an afterthought I think, I should first observe and learn my lessons from the not at all intelligent Shiva (sorry dear friend ) on how to appear ------------- ( I meant to say to Dumb; Shiva, am giving the answer for the Fill-in-the Blanks because i don't want everyone assigning their own word for that - Hope you understand)
Now coming to the post, Jealous eyes follow me everywhere...because of which am having a high fewer for the past 4 days.. that is ever since I returned from the Wedding....
My room mate Ms.K was so worried that she got a dozen of apples for me to eat....God what is she thinking of me? That am someone like S4N705H? Certainly my stomach doesn't start below my neck...
I did not wanna eat the apple and said so.....We had a small discussion on this. But alas it was she who said that
She: Bee dear, Don't you know that An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away....
Me:(Thoughtfully)....Yes... you are right.. If I hit with it hard enough I bet my ass the Doc would be far away....
She: What do you want now? To be killed in Rain or Do you think its better to Eat them? Choice ofcourse is entirely yours....
That too if it turns out to be the most intelligent blogger (!); with the most dashing looks the price is heavy....Especially being Bee... I never knew that I had t pay so much....Its becoming really tough these days that my life is being threatened...If Shrija and Shreesha could claim asylum at the hands of law stating fear of life.. Why should I not?
As an afterthought I think, I should first observe and learn my lessons from the not at all intelligent Shiva (sorry dear friend ) on how to appear ------------- ( I meant to say to Dumb; Shiva, am giving the answer for the Fill-in-the Blanks because i don't want everyone assigning their own word for that - Hope you understand)
Now coming to the post, Jealous eyes follow me everywhere...because of which am having a high fewer for the past 4 days.. that is ever since I returned from the Wedding....
My room mate Ms.K was so worried that she got a dozen of apples for me to eat....God what is she thinking of me? That am someone like S4N705H? Certainly my stomach doesn't start below my neck...
I did not wanna eat the apple and said so.....We had a small discussion on this. But alas it was she who said that
She: Bee dear, Don't you know that An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away....
Me:(Thoughtfully)....Yes... you are right.. If I hit with it hard enough I bet my ass the Doc would be far away....
She: What do you want now? To be killed in Rain or Do you think its better to Eat them? Choice ofcourse is entirely yours....
What happened then?
The answer to that Question is in the last line.....But if you go to the last line first.. you will not be able to relate and understand a thing of what am trying to say......Better go by the rules.. read the post first....
Let me explain what happened to me first.... Why I have been posting very little these days...?Well do you all remember that my sis got engaged in September? Yup.. She got married last week at Chennai.
Normally marriages are fun. That too if you have a partner thinking on your lines.. then that would be double fun.. Here the Grooms elder sister ( Mrs.VK ) was that partner for me...We had the last say in each and every thing the bride and the groom did....In every marriage.. if it happens to be your very close relative... in my case its my sis.. you would know about the Nuptial Night...The much hyped but played low part of any Wedding could be th Nuptial Night and the preperation.......
That I had an equally good partner.. we did our best to spoil the mood(!!!!) of the night for the newly weds.....Naughty Naughty.. dont think bad man..
All we did was took a couple of Alarm Clocks...kept the alarms to blare at 30 mins regular interval...All the alarms were placed in different non guessable places and celotaped tightly so that they cant switch it off immediatley...Then what we did?????
Nothing Much we just emptied A Big ketchup bottle into a Ziplock Bag and placed it under the mattress...Psst.. You should have seen my sis face the next day morning she was as red as the Ketchup....Then What???
We removed the memory card from the Digicamera.. Placed it diagonally above the Bed....Switched the Cam on....Called them at 11.20 pm... promptly she attended the call for she wanted to shout at me for the Ketchup Mess......and this is what happened
My sis took the call.. the call was on the speaker mode
ME : Hi di! Whats happening?
She : How could you do this to me?
Me : Hey No...I didn't do anything.. Rather its he who's gonna.....
She : Stop it! Will you? You two made a mess.
Me : Now dont shout. I just called to wish you a Good Nights Sleep ( I chuckled)
She : ( Irritatingly) Is it? Oh! Thanks...Bye then
Me : One Second....
She : Now What?
Mrs. VK : Hi da... sorry to have bothered you.. but we wanted to know if everything is fine...
She : ( Painfully smiling- remember its her sis-in-law) Yes...Thank you...
Then she gave the phone to her Man...
He : (to his sis annoyed to the core) What the hell do you want now? The day doesnt end here...I will speak to you tomorrow morning
Mrs VK : Fine. I just called to warn you.
He : Warn Me! of What? What ever happens I will take care...
Mrs. VK : Just now I got a news that a Digicam was placed in your room.. I dunno where....
HE Interrupted.....
He : What? What did you say? A Camera...? There was total Silence........after a few seconds Holy Shit.......Yes its there .......Its you two right.....If anything of all that had happened ow has been recorded....My dear sis.. I dont mind going to prison tomorrow.. you both wont be alive to see the sun rise.......
Mrs VK : Darling Brother I heard the rumour... Promise you it wasnt us......
The time was 11.30 pm...Our first Alarm went out
He and She together: Ammah.....( they screamed )
We: Anything wrong..Do you want us to come there........
Tup... He cut the phone....
Had the thing been arranged at the Mandap... we would have bursted crackers every time they switch on the lights....Shucks I missed it!!! Should I all tell you what happened the next day morning....?
If anyone of you is getting married in the near future, Please do Invite me. after all Am not as bad as you all think.
NO ONE KNOWS....
Let me explain what happened to me first.... Why I have been posting very little these days...?Well do you all remember that my sis got engaged in September? Yup.. She got married last week at Chennai.
Normally marriages are fun. That too if you have a partner thinking on your lines.. then that would be double fun.. Here the Grooms elder sister ( Mrs.VK ) was that partner for me...We had the last say in each and every thing the bride and the groom did....In every marriage.. if it happens to be your very close relative... in my case its my sis.. you would know about the Nuptial Night...The much hyped but played low part of any Wedding could be th Nuptial Night and the preperation.......
That I had an equally good partner.. we did our best to spoil the mood(!!!!) of the night for the newly weds.....Naughty Naughty.. dont think bad man..
All we did was took a couple of Alarm Clocks...kept the alarms to blare at 30 mins regular interval...All the alarms were placed in different non guessable places and celotaped tightly so that they cant switch it off immediatley...Then what we did?????
Nothing Much we just emptied A Big ketchup bottle into a Ziplock Bag and placed it under the mattress...Psst.. You should have seen my sis face the next day morning she was as red as the Ketchup....Then What???
We removed the memory card from the Digicamera.. Placed it diagonally above the Bed....Switched the Cam on....Called them at 11.20 pm... promptly she attended the call for she wanted to shout at me for the Ketchup Mess......and this is what happened
My sis took the call.. the call was on the speaker mode
ME : Hi di! Whats happening?
She : How could you do this to me?
Me : Hey No...I didn't do anything.. Rather its he who's gonna.....
She : Stop it! Will you? You two made a mess.
Me : Now dont shout. I just called to wish you a Good Nights Sleep ( I chuckled)
She : ( Irritatingly) Is it? Oh! Thanks...Bye then
Me : One Second....
She : Now What?
Mrs. VK : Hi da... sorry to have bothered you.. but we wanted to know if everything is fine...
She : ( Painfully smiling- remember its her sis-in-law) Yes...Thank you...
Then she gave the phone to her Man...
He : (to his sis annoyed to the core) What the hell do you want now? The day doesnt end here...I will speak to you tomorrow morning
Mrs VK : Fine. I just called to warn you.
He : Warn Me! of What? What ever happens I will take care...
Mrs. VK : Just now I got a news that a Digicam was placed in your room.. I dunno where....
HE Interrupted.....
He : What? What did you say? A Camera...? There was total Silence........after a few seconds Holy Shit.......Yes its there .......Its you two right.....If anything of all that had happened ow has been recorded....My dear sis.. I dont mind going to prison tomorrow.. you both wont be alive to see the sun rise.......
Mrs VK : Darling Brother I heard the rumour... Promise you it wasnt us......
The time was 11.30 pm...Our first Alarm went out
He and She together: Ammah.....( they screamed )
We: Anything wrong..Do you want us to come there........
Tup... He cut the phone....
Had the thing been arranged at the Mandap... we would have bursted crackers every time they switch on the lights....Shucks I missed it!!! Should I all tell you what happened the next day morning....?
If anyone of you is getting married in the near future, Please do Invite me. after all Am not as bad as you all think.
NO ONE KNOWS....
After seeing the Imposition post, my little devil, the so called sister of this humble bee sent me this. This is what I planned to send it to my HOD at College, after finishing the 1st semester. Somehow, my dad found it; he threatened to disown me and warned me that I would be sent out of home permanently.
To: Mrs. TYHJKK (Sorry, I cannot reveal her name, now)
HOD- Accounts Department,
----------------- College.
Dear Madam,
Subject: Commerce
I am Bee. Studying ----- at this college. I have just finished my 1st semester. I seek two things from you. You can offer any one and the choice is yours. First one is department transfer. As you see from my marks, I have got an arrear in your subject. I was extremely shocked and disturbed at the out come of the exam results.
Second one is, you can change my marks. I have valid points and hope you would appreciate my reasoning. I think my marks should have been different in your course. It should be changed from 25 to 70 for the following reasons:
1. The persons who copied my paper has got more marks than I did.
2. The person whose paper I copied has got more marks than I did.
3. This course will lower my overall percentage and I won't get into:
PG course.
My dream Company
My home.
4. Only If I get 70 marks, will I at least leave the college with First Class. Please understand that if the marks don’t change even my kid sister will not respect me.
5. You should also understand that during your class hours I was involved in the Culturals of our College. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.
6.I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact.
7. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles.
8. If you still don’t think of changing my marks, then it is b’cos, you are prejudiced against:
Girls.
Beautiful Girls.
Intelligent & Beautiful Girls.
People
Students
College (Pls. refer the 5th point which I cannot re-write)
9. By changing the marks, I would stay with my parents and will not become an orphan. You will never have to feel guilty that you have made an orphan.
10. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following reasons:
A cat walked past me when I started for the exam
I broke my little finger
My sister was not well the previous night.
I was alone at home as my parents had taken her to hospital.
I thought my father was pregnant, for he has a paunch.
11. If anyone calls me Quarter, its because of you.
12. You have asked as not to by heart all the lessons and be creative. I was creative and you said that am becoming Crazy.
13. The lectures were too detailed to pick out important points and not explained in sufficient detail. When the whole class complained that the you were boring, only I defended that your classes are a real lullaby.
14. I also want a change of Department because, you rain a lot during your lectures and its becoming extremely difficult to sit in the 1st row and not get wet.
15. If you still have not changed my marks at least change my department. This is a request and not a warning.
I promise you that even if you don’t change my department and my marks, I will not harm you with a hockey stick nor will I give 50 miss calls to your house number in the from 11 pm to 3 am. Neither will I conduct condolence meeting on your Wedding Anniversary.
Yours Obediently,
Bee
1st year
A Section.
Note: If you decide to transfer me to some other department, please consult with me before deciding on the department.
To: Mrs. TYHJKK (Sorry, I cannot reveal her name, now)
HOD- Accounts Department,
----------------- College.
Dear Madam,
Subject: Commerce
I am Bee. Studying ----- at this college. I have just finished my 1st semester. I seek two things from you. You can offer any one and the choice is yours. First one is department transfer. As you see from my marks, I have got an arrear in your subject. I was extremely shocked and disturbed at the out come of the exam results.
Second one is, you can change my marks. I have valid points and hope you would appreciate my reasoning. I think my marks should have been different in your course. It should be changed from 25 to 70 for the following reasons:
1. The persons who copied my paper has got more marks than I did.
2. The person whose paper I copied has got more marks than I did.
3. This course will lower my overall percentage and I won't get into:
PG course.
My dream Company
My home.
4. Only If I get 70 marks, will I at least leave the college with First Class. Please understand that if the marks don’t change even my kid sister will not respect me.
5. You should also understand that during your class hours I was involved in the Culturals of our College. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.
6.I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact.
7. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles.
8. If you still don’t think of changing my marks, then it is b’cos, you are prejudiced against:
Girls.
Beautiful Girls.
Intelligent & Beautiful Girls.
People
Students
College (Pls. refer the 5th point which I cannot re-write)
9. By changing the marks, I would stay with my parents and will not become an orphan. You will never have to feel guilty that you have made an orphan.
10. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following reasons:
A cat walked past me when I started for the exam
I broke my little finger
My sister was not well the previous night.
I was alone at home as my parents had taken her to hospital.
I thought my father was pregnant, for he has a paunch.
11. If anyone calls me Quarter, its because of you.
12. You have asked as not to by heart all the lessons and be creative. I was creative and you said that am becoming Crazy.
13. The lectures were too detailed to pick out important points and not explained in sufficient detail. When the whole class complained that the you were boring, only I defended that your classes are a real lullaby.
14. I also want a change of Department because, you rain a lot during your lectures and its becoming extremely difficult to sit in the 1st row and not get wet.
15. If you still have not changed my marks at least change my department. This is a request and not a warning.
I promise you that even if you don’t change my department and my marks, I will not harm you with a hockey stick nor will I give 50 miss calls to your house number in the from 11 pm to 3 am. Neither will I conduct condolence meeting on your Wedding Anniversary.
Yours Obediently,
Bee
1st year
A Section.
Note: If you decide to transfer me to some other department, please consult with me before deciding on the department.
What do I do Now?
I have been trying and trying... Trying, trying and trying... ever since I started blogging... It is that yaar... The one that Scribbler has got! The one that Abru has got… every time I try, I land up miserably….I have lost my patience… I even sort the blogger help... It didn’t work out... Now without any help... I seek your all of your help…probably whoever can help me…
For the help rendered, you will be rewarded. Guess what the reward would be... A Big Thanx…!!!
Now tell me... Oh! Haven’t told you what I want is it? Or are you still putting up a show that you don’t understand…? Even if you haven’t understood that, I would call you a dumb head or an empty head... Coz I know the help that am asking does not need too much of brains.. Other than that I also know that those who read this column, doesn’t have the so called kidney err… the BRAIN inside…
If I consider you all to be empty headed and brainless what am I …? Why am I not able to help my self..?! Ahem! Don’t you know that sometimes Genius become fool...?!!!! this is one such incident …!
My dad once came to my school once. That was when I was in 5th Std. I was called as a lazy girl at home. Not taking any effort to open the book even.
He: Is my girly trying?
Miss: Very trying.
I didn’t understand the meaning of her reply then. But now, if someone asks you this about this post, No wonder I would get the same reply.
So, what is that I was trying to do in my blog space? Heh….Heh… He… AM just unable to add my profile logo. I tried adding the flickr one… from the machine… no way... it isn’t allowing me… I need to check with the Google whether it thinks me to be a competitor?
So, its high time Scribbler tells the secrets…
Reflections: Feminism!
The other day I was reading this post by Mad Momma. Her writings are usually about her children and she is into serious writing unlike mine – Stupid Writing. Never have I thought that I would one day start thinking! ( if you have clicked that link, read the Die Hard Portion)
So what is this Post all about? It’s about MEN. Now stop thinking its one another failed flirt story of this poor bee! This post is about those Men who are becoming more fashionable than ever. And some more tips to make them LOVELY!
Blame it on Abhishek who has grown his hair and wears a band! Or Blame it on Vijayakanth and Vadivelu for their openness in wearing lipstick. In the contest of looking more gorgeous, sexy fashionable AB is being closely followed by SRK.
Ahem! Vijayakanth and Vadivelu still cannot beat the man who mastered in Lipsticks. It’s none other than our Village James Bond Ramarajan. Look at the pic above: S.J Suryah is known to give a tough time to all ladies around! Stop Being Crooked! I mentioned the long chains he is wearing. The other apparel which no other Man had tried and the one popularized by Vadivelu is the Nose Ring! Isn’t he looking gorgeous in that?
These men of
Costume: I actually thought of a Chudi! But, the Fashion Designers have done little alteration and have already introduced Kurtas. With those long lovely Duputtas. Remember Saif and SRK in Mahi Ve! And many other Songs. So we are now left with Saree and dress. What they can now do with a Saree is clip it in their pant waist. Pleat it neatly and bring them from behind and hold it as if they are Kings. Preferably a Short Kurta and Jean would go well for this. If they chose a dress, fink floral dress with a matching hat…They will be the coolest!
Apparels: The chain, the nose ring, bracelets, big eye catchy rings, ear ring all these add on which the girls were using to look gorgy, sexy and adorable are under the permanent usage of MEN. The only thing left is the Anklet. Now men can have anklets stitched to the bottom of their trousers. IF they want they also have the option of Belly Button and eyebrow piercing (Has somebody already used this!)
Cosmetics: If lipsticks can take a permanent position so can the nail polish. If you are not sure how this would work, the work on Nails for Males have already started. This also includes Manicure. Now the options left are Eye liner or Eyelash.
Walkers: If everything could be added how could we leave the Shoe? Men can suggest neatly embroidered or hand painted Designer Wear Shoes!
So what the ever beautiful women do when they have such tough contest now! Hmm... they can wash their faces in cold water, comb the navy cut or business cut or come bald like Bruce Willis he only exceptional in Men.
Hey Girls! We can now take home the long hairs, kerchiefs, lip smacked tissues, lip printed cups of our guy! Also, you can catch him if he ever takes a quick cat walk. Forgot! He has his anklets buddy!
All I have to do now is ...Talk to a Machine
AM researching to know more about Answering Machines. My quest to know about AM has gone high, ever since my company offered to place an answering machine for me!
The concept of AM confuses me. If AM ’s are meant to answer for us, how will it identify the questions? Well, even if we take they could understand, are there any evaluation process for this? If they could answer, I want to ask my dad, why he didn’t think of gifting me when I was in Need. That is when, I was writing my Accounts paper successfully unsuccessful for the 11th time.
Unlike you all, I tend to clear my queries then and there. I went to my boss cabin and asked him. He was appalled. HE wanted to know whether am in any kind of a pressure getting a new machine.
Later, my boss called up and asked me to prepare a message for the AM. I really wonder what type of people would call me! What will anyone have to speak with me? I asked my mom, why she has limited the no. of calls she does to me. My mom says, she is at a loss of words whenever she even thinks of speaking to me!
Anyway I have to choose from below any one answer for all the type of question I am going to receive:
Hi. This is Bee. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a male and never married, don't worry, my dad has got enough money to get me married to you. If you are calling regarding anything official, better you call the office nos. there are some people in my office unlike me, who are really working.
Hi, I'm not at office right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Be sure you don’t ask any question. Just speak after you hear the beep.
Hello, you are about to talk to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. Bee is my owner at the moment. She doesn’t need a personal loan, she already has a mobile, and she also has got a vehicle. Neither is she interested in getting a credit card nor a life insurance. She is already insured, both by the company and by her dad. If you're not from any of those companies and still with me, leave your name and number and if she has patience and time to hear all your stupid messages, she might get back to you.
Hi, my office timings are between 9.30 am to 7.00pm. Reach me tomorrow at the given time.
Hi, I think I have already started for home. If you think that am probably avoiding someone, you might be right. I t could even be you. Why don’t you leave a message, your name and number? If I don’t want to avoid you, I would call you back.
HI, this is my office no. I don’t over work. Call me tomorrow. If the call is for your purpose you need to call me. If it’s for my sake, would you still mind calling me back after 9.30 am.?
Hi, don’t waste your time in speaking to the machine. Better call me after 9.30 am and before 7 pm on all weekdays.
The concept of AM confuses me. If AM ’s are meant to answer for us, how will it identify the questions? Well, even if we take they could understand, are there any evaluation process for this? If they could answer, I want to ask my dad, why he didn’t think of gifting me when I was in Need. That is when, I was writing my Accounts paper successfully unsuccessful for the 11th time.
Unlike you all, I tend to clear my queries then and there. I went to my boss cabin and asked him. He was appalled. HE wanted to know whether am in any kind of a pressure getting a new machine.
Later, my boss called up and asked me to prepare a message for the AM. I really wonder what type of people would call me! What will anyone have to speak with me? I asked my mom, why she has limited the no. of calls she does to me. My mom says, she is at a loss of words whenever she even thinks of speaking to me!
Anyway I have to choose from below any one answer for all the type of question I am going to receive:
Hi. This is Bee. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a male and never married, don't worry, my dad has got enough money to get me married to you. If you are calling regarding anything official, better you call the office nos. there are some people in my office unlike me, who are really working.
Hi, I'm not at office right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Be sure you don’t ask any question. Just speak after you hear the beep.
Hello, you are about to talk to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. Bee is my owner at the moment. She doesn’t need a personal loan, she already has a mobile, and she also has got a vehicle. Neither is she interested in getting a credit card nor a life insurance. She is already insured, both by the company and by her dad. If you're not from any of those companies and still with me, leave your name and number and if she has patience and time to hear all your stupid messages, she might get back to you.
Hi, my office timings are between 9.30 am to 7.00pm. Reach me tomorrow at the given time.
Hi, I think I have already started for home. If you think that am probably avoiding someone, you might be right. I t could even be you. Why don’t you leave a message, your name and number? If I don’t want to avoid you, I would call you back.
HI, this is my office no. I don’t over work. Call me tomorrow. If the call is for your purpose you need to call me. If it’s for my sake, would you still mind calling me back after 9.30 am.?
Hi, don’t waste your time in speaking to the machine. Better call me after 9.30 am and before 7 pm on all weekdays.
You dont know what I did yesterday!
Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me... Gotcha… - Anonymous
So do I.
I don’t have any other thing to do. Santosh is asking me not to think. God! But I have a problem. You all know that I live in my work city, in a hostel. I share my room with one another girl. A fussy one. Some how she manages to irritate me. For the past one week I have been thinking and rethinking on what I could do to confuse her…This is what I did yesterday. (Vigneswaralu, try this... it could be useful for you too!)
I left the room at 7.30 pm and was sitting in one another room till 10pm. When I got back to my room, she was in deep sleep. Somewhere around 1 .00 a.m. I nudged her, quite enough to stir her from her sleep. I pretended to talk and started to walk in sleep. The next day morning, she was asking me to see a good doctor. I asked her what my problem was.
She: Why don’t you see a good doc? I saw you walking and going to the terrace.
Me: You are speaking about me is it?
She: Yeah! I thought you were going to loo. I followed you sleepily. But to my shock, you went upstairs and you looked up the sky and started to speak.
Me: What? How could you say this?
She: No dear. I saw you walking out in sleep. You were talking to someone in your sleep.
Me: I giggled. Looked at her funnily. KS (Identity Sealed), are you alright?
She: Yeah. Why do you ask me that?
Me: Because, I was working in night shift yesterday. I came back only at 5.00 am.
She: No, but I saw you yesterday evening.
ME: Yeah, I was here till 7.30 pm. And the work timings were between 8.00 pm to 4.00 am.
She: You don’t work on shifts. You have never said this to me. I have never seen you working in shifts.
Me: I pee. Do I say that to you?
She: Enough. I can’t take this any more!
ME: The Pee?
She: Holy Shit!
ME: I know the Pee is Shit. But I never knew its Holy?
She: Aaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!
ME: Oh dear. I gotta sleep. Am tired. The night was hectic. I didn’t have a moment to shut my eye. Let me sleep. Can you just order my lunch while you go?
Me: hey…. One more thing! Should I call your mother?
Poor thing. She was looking at me in disbelief. At least for the next one week, she would be quite. Whadya Say?
Bang! The door shut behind her. Puuuuuuuupppp
So do I.
I don’t have any other thing to do. Santosh is asking me not to think. God! But I have a problem. You all know that I live in my work city, in a hostel. I share my room with one another girl. A fussy one. Some how she manages to irritate me. For the past one week I have been thinking and rethinking on what I could do to confuse her…This is what I did yesterday. (Vigneswaralu, try this... it could be useful for you too!)
I left the room at 7.30 pm and was sitting in one another room till 10pm. When I got back to my room, she was in deep sleep. Somewhere around 1 .00 a.m. I nudged her, quite enough to stir her from her sleep. I pretended to talk and started to walk in sleep. The next day morning, she was asking me to see a good doctor. I asked her what my problem was.
She: Why don’t you see a good doc? I saw you walking and going to the terrace.
Me: You are speaking about me is it?
She: Yeah! I thought you were going to loo. I followed you sleepily. But to my shock, you went upstairs and you looked up the sky and started to speak.
Me: What? How could you say this?
She: No dear. I saw you walking out in sleep. You were talking to someone in your sleep.
Me: I giggled. Looked at her funnily. KS (Identity Sealed), are you alright?
She: Yeah. Why do you ask me that?
Me: Because, I was working in night shift yesterday. I came back only at 5.00 am.
She: No, but I saw you yesterday evening.
ME: Yeah, I was here till 7.30 pm. And the work timings were between 8.00 pm to 4.00 am.
She: You don’t work on shifts. You have never said this to me. I have never seen you working in shifts.
Me: I pee. Do I say that to you?
She: Enough. I can’t take this any more!
ME: The Pee?
She: Holy Shit!
ME: I know the Pee is Shit. But I never knew its Holy?
She: Aaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!
ME: Oh dear. I gotta sleep. Am tired. The night was hectic. I didn’t have a moment to shut my eye. Let me sleep. Can you just order my lunch while you go?
Me: hey…. One more thing! Should I call your mother?
Poor thing. She was looking at me in disbelief. At least for the next one week, she would be quite. Whadya Say?
Bang! The door shut behind her. Puuuuuuuupppp
What do I do?
Look here mates, I wanna write something today. I was thinking on what to write. But this was going inside my mind.
Me: Ha.. what to write today?
My Good Mind ( MGM): Huh- let me see if i can help you.
My Bad Mind ( MBM) : Bee, you are no Salman Rushdie or Mario Puzo.
Me: Ayyo! am unable to think on any topic. Shall i skip today?
MGM: Look, you have started writing. Don't stop it.
MBM: For once, the reading community is saved. Pls. Pls. Pls stop it.
Me: Can I write about food?
MGM: Thats a good Idea. See you have now decided on a theme.
MBM: Why not you also write about the first time you drank.....?puuuuupp( this is the sound of bad mind's laugh) ... that would be one great thing!
Me: Oops! am confused!
MGM: Cmon dear. Listen to what your brain has to say. Not by your heart.
MBM: Brains! what is that?
Me: Nope! I can't do it today. May be tomorrow.
MGM: OK dear! Take rest. Think well. You still have it in you.
MBM: Appada.. Sigh! this is the best decision of all you have done today.
Anyway, if you guys want me to write on any particular thing. Lemme know. If I have brains, I will try to write.
Me: Ha.. what to write today?
My Good Mind ( MGM): Huh- let me see if i can help you.
My Bad Mind ( MBM) : Bee, you are no Salman Rushdie or Mario Puzo.
Me: Ayyo! am unable to think on any topic. Shall i skip today?
MGM: Look, you have started writing. Don't stop it.
MBM: For once, the reading community is saved. Pls. Pls. Pls stop it.
Me: Can I write about food?
MGM: Thats a good Idea. See you have now decided on a theme.
MBM: Why not you also write about the first time you drank.....?puuuuupp( this is the sound of bad mind's laugh) ... that would be one great thing!
Me: Oops! am confused!
MGM: Cmon dear. Listen to what your brain has to say. Not by your heart.
MBM: Brains! what is that?
Me: Nope! I can't do it today. May be tomorrow.
MGM: OK dear! Take rest. Think well. You still have it in you.
MBM: Appada.. Sigh! this is the best decision of all you have done today.
Anyway, if you guys want me to write on any particular thing. Lemme know. If I have brains, I will try to write.
Jogging Good or Bad?
Do you go for an early morning Jog daily? Do you remember the 1st time you went? It was way back in 1996. I had just completed my 12th Board Exam. C’mon stop calculating how old I would be now! Am just 23 yrs yaar! Even the prev. year I was of same age and next year also I would retain this. The issue here is no one should ever think that Bee lies.
Well coming back to the topic, I didn’t know what to do then. One thing I made it clear with my Dad that I will not be writing Engg. Entrance. How would I? All I wanted to, was to become a Good House Wife! Yes! Even then I was the same! One fine evening Ms. Tun- Tun (identity sealed!) came to my house. She invited me to join her in the ritual which she does to become slim and good looking like me!
As it is I had no work and enough time, I joined her. I got my track suit, the shoes ready. I asked my mom if she could prepare sweet lime juice and give it. Ahem! She declined. Early morning at around 5.00 am she came and woke me. The whole night I was thinking of the jog I dozed off only around 4.00 am. Somehow I managed and we started. The issue started right in front my house gate. I took my cycle. She looked at me as if am mad!
Tun Tun: Bee darling, I think we are going for a jog. Don’t you know that?
Me: Huh-em I know. But how about going to the stadium in my cycle and we can jog inside the stadium.
Tun Tun (T2): Why is it that you always oppose? When I want to go east you wanna go west? I fear that there won’t be anyone inside the stadium at 5.00 am!
Me: Look here! This is the way I had dreamed. Do you want me to jog with you or not? She finally had to give up. She pulled her cycle and we started!
She is 2 yrs. Elder to me. How could I tell her that I have a guy who’s been seeing me for that past one week! If I go by her route I should cross his house. What if he thinks that am growing fat and if he stops seeing me! He should be 4 yrs. elder to me! He fell into the TDH category ( Tall, Dark, Handsome) I suppose he was doing his Engg.
The was a little breeze. I was enjoying it! Suddenly I strained my eyes and was petrified at what or whom I was looking at? God! It was him! Inside the stadium, right in front of me! I cursed myself for suggesting here! Shucks! With this I wanted to show him am athletic so started to jog fast. I was going a bit ahead of T2. He came along.
He: Hi G.M.!
Me: Hai! Yeah Good morning! (Was blushing!)
He: great! Do you jog daily? Have never seen you here! Am happy to see you here!
Me: I was wondering whether what am hearing is true. Yeah! I don’t come here to stadium. I go to my school ground. (Sweet lies yaar! That was the first time m speaking to him. )
HE: Which standard are you in?
Me: I was angry and happy at the same time. Just completed my 12th.
One point of time we were running at the same speed and going in rounds together! My heart had already slipped. We were getting to know each other. Poor thing Tun Tun was staring at me for speaking to some guy! She hates guys! After some time he asked me pointing at her:
He: Is she your sis?
Me: No. Why? Why are you asking me this?
He: Relax. Relax. I wanna know if I could propose to her thru YOU? Would you mind helping me? For the past one week I had wanted to ask you. But every time you were always with some one.
Me: Do I look like a messenger or post man to you? I scowled and joined T2. That was the end of it. I didn't even turn to see him after that. (Did you not hear my heart break?)
Next day morning. She came. She wanted me to join.
Me: T2, I wanna join you but am actually feeling healthy. Why don’t you go alone?
She: K fine.
ME: I can join you if we can go to my school ground and not to that stadium. What do you say? (Please buddies am not a cunning person. Am trying to be protective of her. You should understand.)
Update: After that I never told her that incident. He completed his B.E. and went somewhere. This morning I gotta call that she has delivered a baby girl for him. Yes! They are Man and Woman…Shucks Husband and Wife Now!
In the process of becoming a/an
Right from my childhood I have always wanted to be an artiste. Getting Noticed, Appreciated, giving interviews, making big money and selling my creations. Don’t you dare think that I have wanted to be an actor. I have never wanted to give Aishwarya Rai the run for her money or fame….I have not even considered her to be my competition!
I mean I want to become a painter. If not a Michelangelo, can I at least not become one like M.F.Hussein? I have decided. I have joined painting class…
Being an artiste is not all that easy. There are some tasks such as color mixing, choosing the surface, using the right brush; all these things just baffle the Bee Brain! You don't know how many times I've put the canvas in the trash. Every time my master comes near to check, I always make it a point to keep my canvas as clean as I could.
Now that I have joined and have told you guys I should also keep up to your expectations as well! Since I go straight to class (obviously taking turns whenever and wherever required) from my work I am always placed far away from the master.
Yesterday evening I went to class. My master came near me and we were speaking in an animated manner! Seeing two great artistes speaking is a great honour. The rest of the class enjoyed that moment of honour.
He stood near me.
Master: "You don't want to work?" he asked, almost with disdain.
Me: "No," For a second he didn’t blink.
Master: Looked squarely and said what?
Me: No. I mean am already working and I want to paint. Not work.” I prefer the nice relaxing life of an artiste.” Thinking and recreating the imagination! It's the kind of life I have always envisioned.
Master: He in a quite and low voice that only till 2nd floor he was heard, he said, I appreciate your dreams; If you want to make you dreams come true, Draw a line first.
This led me to some serious thinking. I even planned to get admitted in some hospital... Unfortunately I didn’t get leave nor was the hospital ready to take in patients who think seriously! It had never occurred to me once that to become an artiste one has to draw a line. In order to know more I met some alumni of this
Shucks! My boss is calling me! Gotta go! Give me some time; I will post the excerpts of the meeting I had with the Alumni Tomorrow!
Have more time to kill? Also read# Newtons Law of Motion Proved!
# Lkie I hvae A Porlbem
What to Name this?
Even now I have difficulties in understanding Physics. Let me make it clear with you am not attending the Skool for the Old at Night. Talking about Physics gives me fond memories of my school days.
Only during Physics and Social Science period I did meditation. Some call this process as Sleeping! But for these 2 I was an outstanding student in all other subjects. I was always wanted by the next class teacher.
When I was in 3rd or 4th STD, I don’t remember exactly, my English Miss Mrs. Wilma Almeida gave us lessons on Tense. But at the end of the class she was more tensed than ever. After teaching us we were asked to write the examples in our notebook. I had a forlorn look and was looking at her. She was very amused to see me like this.
That’s my class 4 photo! Mrs. Almeida, is in white chudidhar.
Mrs. Almeida: Bee, What’s wrong with you? Take your pencil and write.
Me: I ain’t got one.
Mrs. Almeida: Don’t say I ain’t. Listen: I don’t have a pencil; You don’t have a pencil; They don’t have a pencil. Are you clear?
Me: Gee, where did all these pencils go?
I was very serious. My classmates started laughing at me! She looked at me squarely, turned to the black board & started teaching. Mind you, I respect my teachers. I was standing. My papa has advised me not to laugh at others. That’s why even when they were laughing I was silent.
Still the laughter continued. I didn’t even grin.
Mrs. Almeida: Order Children, Order.
Me: A cake and an Ice-cream. That’s ok with me miss.
Mrs. Almeida: Come Again!
Me: Oh! Thank you Miss.
I never knew that I could impress her so much. See, she allowed me to start home early and has also asked me to come the next day without fail! NExt day, I was sitting in my class, the other section class teacher Miss. …. (Sorry poor memory!) She wanted me in her class!
Only during Physics and Social Science period I did meditation. Some call this process as Sleeping! But for these 2 I was an outstanding student in all other subjects. I was always wanted by the next class teacher.
When I was in 3rd or 4th STD, I don’t remember exactly, my English Miss Mrs. Wilma Almeida gave us lessons on Tense. But at the end of the class she was more tensed than ever. After teaching us we were asked to write the examples in our notebook. I had a forlorn look and was looking at her. She was very amused to see me like this.
That’s my class 4 photo! Mrs. Almeida, is in white chudidhar.
Mrs. Almeida: Bee, What’s wrong with you? Take your pencil and write.
Me: I ain’t got one.
Mrs. Almeida: Don’t say I ain’t. Listen: I don’t have a pencil; You don’t have a pencil; They don’t have a pencil. Are you clear?
Me: Gee, where did all these pencils go?
I was very serious. My classmates started laughing at me! She looked at me squarely, turned to the black board & started teaching. Mind you, I respect my teachers. I was standing. My papa has advised me not to laugh at others. That’s why even when they were laughing I was silent.
Still the laughter continued. I didn’t even grin.
Mrs. Almeida: Order Children, Order.
Me: A cake and an Ice-cream. That’s ok with me miss.
Mrs. Almeida: Come Again!
Me: Oh! Thank you Miss.
I never knew that I could impress her so much. See, she allowed me to start home early and has also asked me to come the next day without fail! NExt day, I was sitting in my class, the other section class teacher Miss. …. (Sorry poor memory!) She wanted me in her class!
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