Romancing the dentist...

Dentists can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and they say, "I wish you'd come to me sooner." - Anonymous

How true Isn't it? Have you ever been to a dentist's place? Ooops thats the most sulking place...He gets paid every time you open your smelly mouth......

So this weekend having nowhere to go myself and my dad we went to the dentist clinic...We were in a hurry. Poor Dad had a party to attend at Thambaram...

For some reason my Dad asked me to wait in the reception and he went inside....From the door which was not closed fully I heard them...and this is what happened.....


Dad: Doctor, Am in a hurry. Need to finish this off soon
Doc: Yeah. That could be done. But let me examine whats the problem
Dad: I know its a bad tooth and needs to be pulled. "No fancy stuff, Doctor,"
Doc: Look sir, we have a cosmetic section that is different.
Dad: I mean, No Astringent or pain killers of that sort. Put the drill and pull it off...Stright...
Doc: Relieving a Sigh!!!"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you,"
Dad: You know... its a small pain.. bearable, right?

Doc:"Now, which tooth is it?"
Dad: One sec doctor.
That was it.. I couldnt Stand or Sit or Jump it anymore...I rushed outside and went straight to the parking...The ever sincere dad of mine called me on my phone.

Dad: Where are you?
Me: Papa, I never thought you could do this to me.
Dad: What did I do now?
Me: I heard you. I heard every single word you said to that stupid doc...
Dad: The doctor is waiting...Don't waste time.. Get in soon...
Me:For what? To pull my tooth straight away...
Dad: Common Beti.. its not gonna be as painful as you think
Me: True.Its my tooth and not yours......

After that, somehow my dad successfully convinced me and after 2 patients we went in...
I have seen a couple of Dentists. All of them were looking good. But this guy was young, strikingly good looking...At first I thought this beautiful hands is gonna pull my tooth like a grey hair.. (What a Metaphor Bee darling?) Just like that....

I was nervous as well to have him at such a close proximity...looking at my mouth...For a moment i wanted my Dad to go out and wait...(C'mon now dont start thinking bad.. ok...I just didnt want my dad see me trying to flirt with him.. and that was it)

Doc: Am not gonna pull your tooth. You just have a cavity. Thats it.
Me: (I was relieved....) Is it? Thank you.. Thank you so much
Doc: Now, temme, what kind of filling do you wanna go with for that cavity...
Me: Chocolate, please. If thats a constrain, any flavour other than Strawberry...
Doc: Ha ha haaa... Very humorous girl huh!!!

( Inside my mind. Hell with you man...You are not my kind of a guy)

Does iT matter?

We were traveling in a two wheeler and I was the driver. We were actually crossing a town and we were going to Madurai from a nearby village. All we managed to sneak was that stupid two wheeler. its the fastest 2 wheeler I have ever driven. It ran at a speed of 20 kms per hour. We still managed to drive for we both had something very important to be purchased.

That was when the trouble started. Nobody offended me. The villain is the person who was traveling with me then! HE is my Uncle. Right from the moment we started from home, the man behind was not calm… We went to a shopping mall. I saw a women smiling at him! He too smiled back! I thought he knew her! Suddenly he was gone. He was speaking to few girls and they were all having a good laugh!

I knew by the look he was not discussing anything seriously with those girls. But he was looking somewhere. I asked him what was doing! HE pointed at some one there and said, don’t look at her immediately! Turn slowly and watch her. She is eyeing me!

Me: What?

He: (giggled) Yeah! AM gonna say Tata and come…

That’s it I couldn’t stand it anymore. I wanted to get out that place before danger comes. Its not that am feeling jealous of him that there is no guy looking at Me! The problem is his age. He is 62 yrs. old. And that SHE was around 50 yrs!

Me: Were you also looking at her? Why not those girls? They will make you look younger?

He: The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. Don’t you know the best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles?

All i could manage was hit myself! Never once have I heard him accept his age. For the past 3 or 4 yrs. he’s been maintaining that he is 55/56!!!

You should see him to understand. He dresses so fashionable that the young guys in my family take his word while selecting a dress. On that particular day he was on a Levi’s Jeans and the funny shirt cum T-Shirt! The same kind of a shirt which Rajini is wearing in Sivaji!

We had all gathered there for a wedding! He forgot to bring his Hair Dye! He doesn’t even call that as Hair Dye. He always insists that he’s been doing hair coloring!

The truth is he is not my Uncle. He is my mom’s maternal Uncle. That is he is my Nanaji! Normally, Tamils call their nanaji as Thatha. As a practice I called him Thatha. One fine day, that was some 6 or 7 yrs. back, he came to me and said…what do I have to give? Why do you often ask Tha Tha? (In Tamil Tha means give!)

He: Look, call me Uncle. If you find that to be a problem call me by name. I won’t object!

He said this to me and to my sis! We were shocked. I couldn’t digest the thought of calling him by his first name. So, I call him uncle. But for me, all the younger ones in my family call him not as thatha but by his first name.

MY Naani has told me that when they got married he won’t walk along with her in road. He didn’t want anyone to think he is married. Even when my cousin she was born, he never went to her school for parent’s day or to pick her up. IF the driver is on a leave he would ask my naani to take an auto and go!

To his bad luck the white hair started appearing early for him. The first one he pulled out. As days went by the white strands also increased. He couldn’t bear the sight of it. He went and tonsured his head. But the hair grew white. That was when he started this dye…err... hair coloring!

The funniest part is he had stubble. Like what Anil Kapoor and Jackie Shroff and Nana Patekar had. The moment he saw white hairs there he became Sallu and SRK. Clean…

I have always heard him saying this: The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. But whatever he is up to, I like him for what he is. The latest development with him is… He wants to know if anyone as good looking as Tabu would love him! If Big B can, why not me? Am much younger and fitter than him! For him it was no Sugar Less...Its always Zaada!

After all 55 is not that old! Isn’t it Bee dear?

The Disaster!

I was in my home for the weekend. My dad after going thru my blog felt it’s the time for him to speak it up or is it with me? Ok. Something. We spoke for nearly 1hr. At first when he drove me to beach, I never knew what was in store for me! As we sat down, the first thing I enjoyed was the cool breeze. I, at that point never knew that I would be sweating later!

Even as I type down this I hesitate but cannot resist the temptation to share with you. Lemme introduce my dad to you. He is a Central Govt. Employee. A good citizen. An avid reader. But I never knew that he is a fan of Bruce Cameron! I never thought that this columnist could dampen my life.

Dad: Bee, my child. I understand your plight of not getting married still. I have been going thru your blog. You seem to be much worried about your single status.

(Me: C’mon dad, I was just expecting this. God! The blog has at last started to work in my favour)

Dad: Have you heard about the 8 Simple Rules of Dating my Teenage Daughter? Bruce has actually made me think and re-think my choices for a suitable groom!

Me: What’ that to do with me? BTW am not your teenage daughter! Am well past that and waiting to get married! Who the hell is that Bruce? (Don’t you feel the panic in me?)

Dad: I thought you would always come with a guy and say that you have fallen in love with that guy and you would want to marry him?

Me: Just think dad! Have you ever given me a break! Everyday you would be the one who would come and pick me up! (Gosh! I was exhausted!)

Dad: Look, there are things that I look in a man for you. If he doesn’t fall under that category, how do you expect me to get you married to him?

Me: I lost my temper. Now what’s that you are looking for?

Dad: I have been trying to get a suitable groom. But this is what I look in a guy.

1. He might be the most handsome guy on earth. But when it comes to getting married to you, I would double check him thru a detective agency. He should be a tee to taller!

2. HE should not be a Scientist, an IT guy, A sales person, a financial guy etc., the pay is good. But almost all the guys whom I see go bald at an early age and wear spectacles.

3.HE should be 3 yrs. Elder to you. For this, I will not be able to give your age. I know its not fair to disclose a girl’s age even if it happens to be my daughter.

4.Should not have a good appetite. I say this because: he will have to eat your cooking. If in case he has a good appetite, he should be willing to cook every day and every meal.

5.When I see him for the first time I will not invite him home; it will be in a public place; could be a restaurant of my choice. But, the bill will never be shared. He should be magnanimous enough to pay!

6.When I see him for the first time his dressing counts. He cannot wear a Jeans. I hate it! He cannot wear a trouser with side pockets. No Funky T-Shirts please. I don’t want him in a formal wear either. It reflects that he loves to work more than loving my daughter! He cannot wear a dhoti! He might look outdated and you might think that I have chosen an out of fashion crackpot!

7.I will not be taking you while I meet him. But all our conversations would be recorded. I will give him your photo only after I approve of you and after your mom and sis give their consent.

8.Once everything is finalized and only after that can he talk to you. All your talks should be over the phone only. He should pay your mobile bill. While you are away at office the mobile will be with me!

9.He cannot take you outside. If in case he has to, you will be promptly accompanied by me or by your mom. You will have to sit in the passenger seat behind and if it’s your mom, then she will sit with you. If it’s me, then he should be glad for I will sit next to him. After all he won’t feel lonely!

10. He should have a neat face. I mean...No stubble like AB Jr. and should have a neat trimmed moustache and properly groomed side burns.

And so he continued… it went on and on…. We were in home after that! I was perspiring and went to have a bath as if to wash of all I had heard! I even pricked me hoping that all I heard was not true but I have dreamt! I yelled in pain. My mom came running. Poor thing, she would not what had happened. I wanted to pour out what i had heard. Something inside me was crumpling. Was that my dreams? Dutifully I told her.

Me: Ma, papa just told me the kind of guy he is looking for me? Recited her everything.How is he able to think so weird?

Mom: Bee darling, how could you think that your father for once has used his brains? She grinned and left!!!!!!!!!

I getting married is in the distant future. May be I would be 60 and a Virgin still!

Note: This could be a long post. Blame it on Bruce or blame my dad. But am pathetic.

Am Reading

Chackoo.. this is how we call her.... She is 20 yrs old and doing her UG. Nothing wrong! But what troubles me is this. She says she is in Love! There is this guy who comes and meets her regularly, takes her out, gifts her occasionally....Then there is another girl.. she is Mony... She is doing her P.G. she is going to get engaged in a couple of weeks. She is 22 yrs old.

There are so many girls living in the same hostel as I am. Every day I see someone or the other going and coming in with their chosen partner! What world is this? Isn't there one single person in this world to fall madly in love with me? To Flatter Me, Gift Me huh!!! Very Bad eh! Is there no one to understand the heart of this Humble Bee! Gosh! I have been repeatedly saying this to my dad and mom...

Now don't ask what is the link between the title Am reading and this Post? Am just unable to bear all these collaborations happening right in front of Me! All I have is a little heart... a really small one.. but no one to steal!

I was sharing my agony to one of my pals, she says, guys are not that interested in looks, so anyway you have a chance; but they wanna a person with 400 gms inside their head! Do anyone of you know what she means by that? After hearing this, I went to a weighing machine. The man there never allowed me to weigh my head. After a bit of confusion and talks I weighed my head! OH My God! My head weighs 1000 gms...Ooops! How do i reduce the weight in my head alone, now?

May be, am poor at choosing a guy...may be the guys whom I have met, finds me too intelligent that they fear, that they are not the right match for me...! Err... may be it's because I dunno about men! Anyway, Am reading a book; This is not to enhance my knowledge; Its for me to understand M.E.N ( Mad, Egotist Nerd); The book is What a Man needs ...

Lemme see if I land up getting One!

One more thing! All those guys and friends of Mine... LISTEN... Santosh and Vigneswarulu
has asked me to whip your A** for not commenting! Well those of you who can come in person to get their piece of Whip are welcome and those who cannot come in person... Haaaaaa! What do i do? Santosh and Vignesh you temme!

On My Way to Office - II

I thought and wanted him to go straight and I was about to take a right turn. But he stopped with me at the signal.

Do you have problems in understanding what I say? In that case:

Please Read what happened yesterday when I was on my way to office

He was just a few inches away from me.... I heard my heart beat. For a second he removed his head gear and turned right. Was looking at my direction. I, from the corner of my eyes sensed his move. He had a very lively straight dark hair. The kind of texture I swear I had wanted my guy to have. I didn’t want to turn my head. This time I didn't.

What is that he is having on him? Is that Perry Ellis? In just a few sec how did I manage to note so much of him....The signal turned green. I was like going pink. Lost in thinking about him I did a bad start and almost hit the girl near me. I didn’t turn at him I went straight. Other than seeing me once and smiling I never thought he did anything silly just to attract. For sometime it looked as if its me who's making a push towards him.

Is he the person with whom I want to spend the rest of my life?

Few seconds passed by. I was nearing my office complex. I had these questions running in my head. Where will he go now? He seems to be having a holiday. Not in his formal attire. Is he seeing someone? Cursing myself for all this, I turned to enter the parking lot.

Baaprey! He came along with me there too! Without blushing I got down from my bike. Whats that am seeing now? He was walking towards me. I was standing for the lift. He came and stood silently behind me. We were 3 in the lift. Myself, this guy and the girl whom I hit in the signal. I was standing in the middle. In the middle of these 2. My floor came. I walked out. Had a relaxed and cool day.

On My Way to Office

Have you ever experienced a pair of inquisitive eyes watching you and following you all the way to your office? Oh God! It happened to me this morning...Here at my work city. The weather had been really cool for the past one week. This morning it even drizzled. This is the kind of meteorological conditions I enjoy and try to be romantic.Usually on these days, I shower early go to a temple and start for work. This is how I started. Had a loose hair. Wore my sun glasses. With a streak of KumKum worn in the forehead. I was enjoying the cool early breeze....

Had I had a beau, I bet I would have bunked my office just to ride the town in his bike (Yes! one of the conditions to be my guy is you should definitely have a stylish bike!)! Thinking and cursing on my bad luck (don’t interpret on my looks now) I started cruising in my bike. There with a gentle breeze he crossed me. He was riding a Yamaha Bullet. Stylishly remodelled and elegantly driven. He was having this Head Gear. Hell with these helmets ...I just missed seeing his face. He should be somewhere between 5'9" - 6'-0". Gosh! The skin was tan! HE was in his Jeans!

Bee dear, C'mon don’t get distracted.... drive past him and go to office- This was my minds instruction. I was about to rise Gawd! I was like going behind & not wiling to go past him...What’s that is he slowing his machine? He started to drive along with me...

I sensed blood rushing to my face! No... Bee don’t turn... It isn’t good ...The moment I thought of this I remember turning my head and looking at him...OOOooops He looked at me the same instance!

What on Earth is happening to me? I could see his eyes. They were brown. What is he doing? Is he smiling at Me? I realized myself smiling...There came the signal. I thought and wanted him to go straight and I was about to take a right turn. But he stopped with me at the signal.

Oh ! No ... If this is the kind of guy am looking for.. then let me keep the suspense on what happened..Tomorrow, I promise to update this on what happened after the signal... Alas!...it was like... Sorry I wanted to tell you now.. let me just enjoying the feeling for now and till then ...

If you have more time to kill..you can as well read this.

Am getting diturbed? Is that what you call love?

I contemplated suicide again - this time by inhaling next to an insurance salesman.-Woody Allen

You all know by now that I am living on my own at my Work city. Well, the monsoon has just started. And we had showers yesterday. I love playing in rain and mom allows that too.. . Every one used to tell her not to allow children to play in rain
Till one day i heard her reply I didn't know why she allowed.This is what happened then ( when I was say 12 or 13 yrs old)

Mrs. X: Think you like rain a lot
My Mom: Yes. Every one likes rain.
Mrs. X : But why should you allow your kids to play in rain? Wont they get affected.
My Mom: You are right. Had it been the younger one I would not have let her play. But its Bee, thats why I let her....
(Mrs . X was bit annoyed ... Even I was bit taken how could my mother not own me!?)
Mrs. X : Why is it so?
My mom: Well, I just want her to bathe properly.

Now as I lay back thinking of that horrible discovery my mom made about me ... I felt him. I sensed his strong urge to get into my bed. There he was, trying all his pranks. He then moved to my neck. I sensed him there. Shamelessly I waited for him to move down. I was like getting ... Oh No! how could I say that? He bit me. Near me ears i heard his hiss...I know he is driving me crazy.

As the night falls, without my permission and without being held by anyone he enters my room.. night by night...But yesterday was different. I wanted to put an end to this ... Here I was lying in darkness feeling his arrival...

Finally I went to sleep.When I woke up, he had left. I searched for him but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events. My body still shows his marks, making it harder to forget him.

Tonight I will remain awake and wait for you...as soon he appears I will quickly grab and won't let him go, will hold him with all my strength. Not only that my dear Night Lover, I have got all those new repellents in the market...I know for sure that you will be killed ...You F$#King mosquito...

One Eve. at My Office - Contd.

Wat to say. I was just standing still after hearing them moan unable to decide whether to barge in or not. I just then turned to my left and noticed the Pr. Chief.

If you dont understand any of this. Read this

He is a heavy man with a big belly.Whenever I see him walking I always pity his belt. If only it had mouth...!Ok. Coming back to the incident.

Pr.Chief: Had your coffee.
Me: No. Just waiting for you.
Pr. Chief: Sorry. Got an important call. Gotta Go!
(He was perspiring. Should be his Wife.)
Me: Ok. Not a Problem. You just carry on. ( He is already carrying. isn't he?)

Pr. Chief: Bee, check if this cover is for you. The name is obliterated.
Me:No. It cannot be. My name is Honey Bee.

With this he went off. At last I got rid of him. I wanted to go and ask them
What the F#*k is happening? What if he says, Yeah. We are. I wanted to avoid the embarrassment.

What should I do if they say that they were into this? Should I shout at them? Or should I take action against them? I know for sure they will lose their jobs. But for all this, its office. And there's a limit to everything.

With all this going in my mind,I peeped in and walked quietly. Those 2 were standing face to face. Still panting. I controlled my temper and asked, Hey I was here only. May I know what you guys were up to.

The girl replied No madam actually... we were...
Me: What? Temme I gotta Know.
The Man: Madam we changed places.
ME: ( Still with a burning temper) What? What places?
He: We moved the coffee machine and Water cooler to this side of the room madam. Admin wanted us to do. Thats it madam.
Me: Oh! ok.. ( Hiding the surprise and relief)

Sorry just as you even I was expecting a good one. Cant help it.

One Evening at my office..

It’s been a long time since I took leave. So, 2 days back I decided to take a leave. The saddest part of this is, the work gets back logged and I had to finish the work. So, yesterday I extended my working hours till 7+1 pm.

The work load was quite heavy. Don’t ask me how heavy it was, for the house keeping boys, carry heavy things for us. Have you ever wondered why they are called as house keepers when they are actually office keepers?

The office wore a deserted look.There was none in the office but for me and the security. That was what I thought. There was one another person. The Production Department Chief. He came across. I just hate this guy. Thankfully I don't report to him. He is worse than my boss.

Pr. Boss: So, Bee, you missed office yesterday!
Me: No. Not a Bit. Actually I was happy.

After this he wanted to know if I could join him for a coffee. I agreed. Thankfully, he got a call on his mobile he went. I was standing near the Pantry door. I normally don’t eaves drop. I heard something very fishy behind the closed doors of the Pantry. 2 voices – A male and a female. There was only one light lit.

She: haaa… no... no... i.. Aah am not able to ( she let out a sigh ) !
He: Its over. Just be patient.
She: oooo... Hammaaaaa!
He: ok... ok….. Aaaaah! That’s my girl!
She: giggles. Its better now.
He: yeaaaaaaah
Then heavy breathing.

Any Guess, what happened then?!? 
To be continued in the next post.

He came near me..and...

Socrates was once encountered by his disciples on what he felt about Love at first sight he replied: Take a deep Second Look

Warning:Papa this post is not meant for you, so please shut down your system

I somehow managed to get a confirmation ticket in Rockfort Express but the A/c never worked ..i was so disappointed that the moment the TTE came i gave him my ticket and put on my i pod and went to sleep...the magic happened then.. the train reached Tambaram some new family got into the compartment...this handsome hunk sat just opposite to me....how do i get up now? will he not think that I got up after seeing him. he gave such revolting smile that something inside me was breaking.. was that my ego?

I never believed in Love at first Sight.. but I fell completely for this smarty...Sorry I cant reveal his name ...need to protect his identity...he might get thrashed up by other guys ... I got up as if i got disturbed from my sleep.. see there are times we cannot show what we feel...we gotta makeup things that its just a natural thing..

He had such gleam in his eye and i fell for that... there was another small girl in the same compartment as we were.. in order to avoid watching, instantaneously we started playing with the little girl.. the time was somewhere around 11.00 pm her mom put her to sleep..we didn't have any other go than to sleep contended...as i went to sleep.. i felt something strange..
Oh my God.. was that he? is he standing next to me?... i didn't turn didn't move a bit ... i thought he pulled my long flowing hair... cant a girl beautiful(!... no hard feelings eh) and naive travel in peace....no man is good... my instant feel for him was dying... after that i went to sleep...

Morning as i got up .. he gave the same charming smile, i got down first.. but just couldn't bear the thought that its all train friendship and that i will not be seeing him anymore... he was the next one to get down.. i just carried him and gave him to his mom and kissed him goodbye...

On the look out

There a quite a few days that you feel like having someone for you.. It so happened that while I was sitting in my room, another hosteler passed by my room.. I knew that she is doing her B.E. What troubled me was she was speaking on her mobile to her boy friend..

She turned and smiled at me.. Ah! it was more like mocking at me... The look in her eyes .. ah...it was asking me, Dont you have a boy friend? Gawd.. girls much younger to me have guys... I decided to have one.. but I wanted to know for what all reasons I need a guy

1.However pressured job he is in, he should be ready to walk hand -in-hand with me..
2.Even if I forget his B'days he should be the 1st to wish me
3. On and Off he should surprise me with Gifts.. Invariably even if his bank balances are fast decreasing
4. He should be available at all times .. to pick me up and drop me back when I go to shopping..
5. Who doesn't like to show off her guys .. The girls all around the world do.. So does our famed Bipasha or Kareena.. SO the guy of my choice should be ready to accompany me to my friends place .. but never once should insist me in accompanying him to his friends places...
6. HE should be ready to buy & wear the dress of my choices only. Its quite obvious that he should gift me a dress every time he has one for him.
7. After he starts seeing me.. he should never eye other girls...and shouldn't mind if I happen to occasionally appreciate other guys who look smart than him...
8. He should treat me like his queen even if I happen to treat him sometimes a little lesser than a driver...

Have you got any other reasons which I could include on why I need a Guy? It could be a blessing

I seriously dunno whether my dad reads this blog or not...