I, Me, Myself

After seeing the Imposition post, my little devil, the so called sister of this humble bee sent me this. This is what I planned to send it to my HOD at College, after finishing the 1st semester. Somehow, my dad found it; he threatened to disown me and warned me that I would be sent out of home permanently.

To: Mrs. TYHJKK (Sorry, I cannot reveal her name, now)
HOD- Accounts Department,
----------------- College.
Dear Madam,

Subject: Commerce

I am Bee. Studying ----- at this college. I have just finished my 1st semester. I seek two things from you. You can offer any one and the choice is yours. First one is department transfer. As you see from my marks, I have got an arrear in your subject. I was extremely shocked and disturbed at the out come of the exam results.

Second one is, you can change my marks. I have valid points and hope you would appreciate my reasoning. I think my marks should have been different in your course. It should be changed from 25 to 70 for the following reasons:
1. The persons who copied my paper has got more marks than I did.

2. The person whose paper I copied has got more marks than I did.

3. This course will lower my overall percentage and I won't get into:
PG course.
My dream Company
My home.

4. Only If I get 70 marks, will I at least leave the college with First Class. Please understand that if the marks don’t change even my kid sister will not respect me.

5. You should also understand that during your class hours I was involved in the Culturals of our College. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.

6.I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact.

7. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles.

8. If you still don’t think of changing my marks, then it is b’cos, you are prejudiced against:
Girls.
Beautiful Girls.
Intelligent & Beautiful Girls.
People
Students
College (Pls. refer the 5th point which I cannot re-write)

9. By changing the marks, I would stay with my parents and will not become an orphan. You will never have to feel guilty that you have made an orphan.

10. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following reasons:
A cat walked past me when I started for the exam
I broke my little finger
My sister was not well the previous night.
I was alone at home as my parents had taken her to hospital.
I thought my father was pregnant, for he has a paunch.

11. If anyone calls me Quarter, its because of you.

12. You have asked as not to by heart all the lessons and be creative. I was creative and you said that am becoming Crazy.

13. The lectures were too detailed to pick out important points and not explained in sufficient detail. When the whole class complained that the you were boring, only I defended that your classes are a real lullaby.

14. I also want a change of Department because, you rain a lot during your lectures and its becoming extremely difficult to sit in the 1st row and not get wet.

15. If you still have not changed my marks at least change my department. This is a request and not a warning.

I promise you that even if you don’t change my department and my marks, I will not harm you with a hockey stick nor will I give 50 miss calls to your house number in the from 11 pm to 3 am. Neither will I conduct condolence meeting on your Wedding Anniversary.

Yours Obediently,
Bee
1st year
A Section.

Note: If you decide to transfer me to some other department, please consult with me before deciding on the department.