Sharing......

The following is an exact transcription of a letter John Mongan received from MIT, and the reply that he sent them. Unfortunately, they chose to discontinue their correspondence at that point. I have heard, however, that their recruitment letter has been revised and is far less snotty than it once was.

April 18, 1994

Mr. John T. Mongan
123 Main Street
Smalltown, California 94123-4567

Dear John:

You've got the grades. You've certainly got the PSAT scores. And now you've got a letter from MIT. Maybe you're surprised. Most students would be. But you're not most students. And that's exactly why I urge you to consider carefully one of the most selective universities in America.

The level of potential reflected in your performance is a powerful indicator that you might well be an excellent candidate for MIT. It certainly got my attention!

Engineering's not for you? No problem. It may surprise you to learn we offer more than 40 major fields of study, from architecture to brain and cognitive sciences, from economics (perhaps the best program in the country) to writing.

What? Of course, you don't want to be bored. Who does? Life here is tough and demanding, but it's also fun. MIT students are imaginative and creative - inside and outside the classroom.

You're interested in athletics? Great! MIT has more varsity teams - 39 - than almost any other university, and a tremendous intramural program so everybody can participate.

You think we're too expensive? Don't be too sure. We've got surprises for you there, too.

Why not send the enclosed Information Request to find out more about this unique institution? Why not do it right now?

Sincerely,

Michael C. Benhke
Director of Admissions

P.S. If you'd like a copy of a fun-filled, fact-filled brochure, "Insight," just check the appropriate box on the form.

---

May 5, 1994

Michael C. Behnke
MIT Director of Admissions
Office of Admissions, Room 3-108
Cambridge MA 02139-4307

Dear Michael:

You've got the reputation. You've certainly got the pomposity. And now you've got a letter from John Mongan. Maybe you're surprised. Most universities would be. But you're not most universities. And that's exactly why I urge you to carefully consider one of the most selective students in America, so selective that he will choose only one of the thousands of accredited universities in the country.

The level of pomposity and lack of tact reflected in your letter is a powerful indicator that your august institution might well be a possibility for John Mongan's future education. It certainly got my attention!

Don't want Bio-Chem students? No problem. It may surprise you to learn that my interests cover over 400 fields of study, from semantics to limnology, from object-oriented programming (perhaps one of the youngest professionals in the country) to classical piano.

What? Of course you don't want egotistical jerks. Who does? I am self indulgent and over confident, but I'm also amusing. John Mongan is funny and amusing - whether you're laughing with him or at him.

You're interested in athletes? Great! John Mongan has played more sports - 47 - than almost any other student, including oddball favorites such as Orienteering.

You think I can pay for your school? Don't be too sure. I've got surprises for you there, too.

Why not send a guaranteed admission and full scholarship to increase your chance of being selected by John Mongan? Why not do it right now?

Sincerely,

John Mongan

P.S. If you'd like a copy of a fun-filled, fact-filled brochure, "John Mongan: What a Guy!" just ask.

And am Tagged

This is Abru . He is at Bangalore and has been hiding for a long time, is back. But, he has tagged me. So what do I do now??? Let me tell you some Random facts about me.

1. I drink so much of water that my people at home call me hippo
2. I read newspapers as if my whole life is at stake
3. Whenever I am confused i scratch my head
4. I have watched The Mad Mad Mad World movie N no. of times....
5. I don't like cats.. though we had 7 cats in my home
6. I always carry a red colour pen... Silly Sentiments attached
7. I like Cadbury's Nutties and Hershey's Kisses and Fruit and Nut chocolates; I love Cookie Man Cookies!!!! ( Anybody wanting to gift me take the clue from here!!!)
8. If I don't like something, I will just put it across....
9. I like long country side drive on a rainy day
10. Sometime back I wanted to be a movie director
11. I love to eat Boost...but I don't like Bournvita
12. I don't like to wear formals
13. For anything and almost for everything I bribe Lord Ganesha. The Bribe amount is Re.1/- always. Even if I misplace a comb or my purse....
14. I like to watch sky and stars...
15. White is my favourite
16. Today am very tired... Been to Salem yesterday....

Though he had asked me to write 8 facts...I have actually landed up with a double....

After seeing the Imposition post, my little devil, the so called sister of this humble bee sent me this. This is what I planned to send it to my HOD at College, after finishing the 1st semester. Somehow, my dad found it; he threatened to disown me and warned me that I would be sent out of home permanently.

To: Mrs. TYHJKK (Sorry, I cannot reveal her name, now)
HOD- Accounts Department,
----------------- College.
Dear Madam,

Subject: Commerce

I am Bee. Studying ----- at this college. I have just finished my 1st semester. I seek two things from you. You can offer any one and the choice is yours. First one is department transfer. As you see from my marks, I have got an arrear in your subject. I was extremely shocked and disturbed at the out come of the exam results.

Second one is, you can change my marks. I have valid points and hope you would appreciate my reasoning. I think my marks should have been different in your course. It should be changed from 25 to 70 for the following reasons:
1. The persons who copied my paper has got more marks than I did.

2. The person whose paper I copied has got more marks than I did.

3. This course will lower my overall percentage and I won't get into:
PG course.
My dream Company
My home.

4. Only If I get 70 marks, will I at least leave the college with First Class. Please understand that if the marks don’t change even my kid sister will not respect me.

5. You should also understand that during your class hours I was involved in the Culturals of our College. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.

6.I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact.

7. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles.

8. If you still don’t think of changing my marks, then it is b’cos, you are prejudiced against:
Girls.
Beautiful Girls.
Intelligent & Beautiful Girls.
People
Students
College (Pls. refer the 5th point which I cannot re-write)

9. By changing the marks, I would stay with my parents and will not become an orphan. You will never have to feel guilty that you have made an orphan.

10. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following reasons:
A cat walked past me when I started for the exam
I broke my little finger
My sister was not well the previous night.
I was alone at home as my parents had taken her to hospital.
I thought my father was pregnant, for he has a paunch.

11. If anyone calls me Quarter, its because of you.

12. You have asked as not to by heart all the lessons and be creative. I was creative and you said that am becoming Crazy.

13. The lectures were too detailed to pick out important points and not explained in sufficient detail. When the whole class complained that the you were boring, only I defended that your classes are a real lullaby.

14. I also want a change of Department because, you rain a lot during your lectures and its becoming extremely difficult to sit in the 1st row and not get wet.

15. If you still have not changed my marks at least change my department. This is a request and not a warning.

I promise you that even if you don’t change my department and my marks, I will not harm you with a hockey stick nor will I give 50 miss calls to your house number in the from 11 pm to 3 am. Neither will I conduct condolence meeting on your Wedding Anniversary.

Yours Obediently,
Bee
1st year
A Section.

Note: If you decide to transfer me to some other department, please consult with me before deciding on the department.

A Mail

My Sys Admin had been at the back of me, hey no .. Stop thinking bad... he was pestering me to delete all unwanted mails....That lead to an interesting discovery.. Its a mail I recieved from a person last year. She had met me sometime back then.... I had always thought that the stupid leave letters coming as forwards are all man made....but this one proved me wrong....

And Now

I had actually wanted to tell who the Winner is, but well I thought You all would be as Intelligent as Me!!!
Sorry Guys! I should have expected too much from you!!! That too knowing well that you guys are reading my blog.... Now I know the difference between being intelligently and acting intelligently

The WINNER is REACH ME TO FIND ME!!!! And Santosh walks away as the Winner!!!!

Now Santosh as promised here is a list for the GIFT, choose whichever you want You would have it as your Gift

1. pOST oN yOU
2. pOST oN yOU
3. pOST oN yOU

As you all have uniformly shown your regret for not annoucing the Winner, you left out on the 100th Post topic... So the next post will be the 101st Post....

----------------XXXX-----------------

I actually wanna say the results but before that, let me just go thru the titles that have come across....

Santosh: The Lost Bee ---- ( hey am very much alive and living)

Scribbler: Bee in Wonderland ( Will I meet the Mad Hatter and the March Hare in the never ending Tea Party?)

Chronic Writer: Funny Pee ( Yuck! How could Pee be Funny?)

Purple Heart: Those were the days ( Haan For this even without saying the name, I would have guessed this)

Vigneswaralu: Nostalgic about College Days ( True.... But...)

The following suggestions came from my room mate, my school friend ad college Friends

KS: Bee at her Best( she is my room mate.. pls pray for her.....she lives (?) with me!!!! and alive still!!!!!)

School Friends
D: Intermission - I attend Class ( What the hell is this di?)
VJ: Noodles Time ( Cant you think something out of the box at least now man? Will you ever change? )

Instead of me selecting why not you say that also...Makkal theerpey magesan theerpu...
( Oooffff somehow I have managed to create a post today....!!! So what's for tomorrow?)

Do you know, tomorrow if i create a post i would be 5+15+25+35+5+15 th post... that means today's post is 3+13+23+33+3+13+11th post!!!!

Now what do you want me to write tomorrow?
The boy next home
Poor KS
My School story
A mail that I recieved (This is not a forward)
Or Shall I not post the 100th post and goto 101 straight away?

Long long Ago, so long ago, will not say how long ago (will you not guess that my age is 23) when I was in my college, I loved my college more than anything else. We were a group of five. For us, only we were human beings. Those who welcomed were considered us half human beings. We all believed in Karl Marx. All are Equal. Yes. Right from college watchman to Princi for us, they were all Aliens.

For any extra curricular activity, if the department needs us, they first go by looking at these places only.

The College Bus Shed: When we have no other thing to do, we would be here. This is the place where we secretly read an Old (6 months old) Play Boy Book. Also, the place where we read Women’s Era and its restricted pages. We smuggled them from Library. The funniest thing is we started reading Women’s Era after our Librarian started stapling certain pages. Till then, we have never kept our hands on that.

There are other things which I cannot type down here, which we did at this Bus Shed.

The A.V. Room: Until one day the AV in charge attended a department program of ours, he was under the impression that we were Vis. Comm. Students. Anyway, this room was our hot spot.

The Chapel: Have I not told you that am a God fearing person? Right from my schooling I had been pucca in this. Out of the 5, I was very sincere and regular in going to Chapel. I would go and sit and start practicing Yoga. My friends made Ga Ga over this Yoga. They always said that this form of Yoga is also called as Sleeping Seated.

The Canteen: MY father was not a good pay master. He would drop me at the College and Pick me up in the Evening. I only had Rs.100/- extra all the time. The same goes with 3 more girls and the other one was a hosteller. But, I have a lovely Nanny. She opened an account for me at the College canteen. She would come and settle the bill, every month on 5^th. Therefore we had an uninterrupted access to Canteen. The Canteen Aunty too liked me because in the whole of the college, I gave her good business.

The Library: The best place I ever enjoyed. Hey You! Stop thinking that I got my reading Habit from here. That habit started only after I left College. Before I elaborate anything on this let us take a short break…..from this

Have you heard of Palm size land Line Phone intruments? It had just been introduced at Burma Bazaar. They were charging between Rs.300-Rs.400/-. With just Rs.100/- which we had to produce as and when enquired by my Mr. & Mrs. Hitler, our hands were tied. Whom else could we go to?

With all options closed and no other option open, we went to Canteen. Banish (that’s how we call her) had that art. She laid her hands in the Kalla Potti (Cash Box). No, don’t call it stealing. After all, it was our aunty, our canteen and our kalla potti. Only thing is, she didn’t see us taking it. She calls us her kids. Dont you know that Inheritance is not stealing? Her money was our money. But, we had a rule. We never took a single penny extra. We bought that phone using this money.

Cut short the story, we bought this telephone to go to library. You should see our Librarian. Post Lunch she lived in her own world. We never disturbed her. Quite as cat we will go to the rear end of the huge library, where even the library assistants won’t come. Now don’t think that we were reading something GOOOOOD… All we had did was, we clipped the library phone cable. We instantly worked for Sun TV. We were Pepsi Ungal Choice techies. On a day, every one of us had a roll to play. We were directors, Camera Man, Program Host to what not? We have called ourselves Subshree Thanikachalam, James Vasanthan, or Pepsi Uma etc. We had adorned it all. How many programs we had created? One kind of that program is Idhu Jilpons Neram!!! The current form is Comedy Time…

Alas! why did I start telling this... Yeah these were the places where we could be found if we were inside the college campus. If they still don’t find us anywhere, they would then go to the class room. That too, if the class was in the middle of a lecture, they would look for us the next day.

Now why did I start telling all of this………hmmmmmmm? I will tell you that in the next Post, but for this post, I don’t have a Title.

So, here is the competition. Guess a title for this. The Winner has a Surprise!!!

What is it to be?

The day has come. I have decided. It’s an important decision for me. It’s about that. That is the one which You and I enjoy….Yes! It’s the freedom. And am speaking about our Independence Day. How many have given their life for this holy soil of ours, I now want to lay my life for our Country… Hearing my decision, late last night MMS & SG called! (that’s how I call him, incidentally he is also the PM of this nation, I now hope you know who SG is?)

HE had wanted me to shun the very idea, of me, making that Supreme Sacrifice for the country. All SG had to say was, Bee, there are a very few reasons why we still manage to do some good. Without prying for a political advantage, we manage to project India than my family, in subtle moments, is for the reason that people like you are still around!!!

All MMS asked from me is to stay alive and lively as I am. HE said given a chance I would opt out from being the PM. So, for the Welfare of the Country, I have decided to stay Alive.

If ever you get to meet an octogenarian, ask him / her how it was to be a Slave in his own country! I asked my Dada, he quips, there are only little changes post Independence!

Alas! Are we really Independent?

Note: Following numero uno mail requesting to Post on the Tag Scribbler has put on me, The post has been published. Move you cursor down...to Read

Atlast I have made It!!!!!!!

So... now that Scribbler has tagged me... let me blab more about me

I Love
Music
Books
Food
Sleep
Ice Creams and Chocolates

I Hate
People who drool – am certainly not speaking about babies
Meetings --- Obvious yaar... It’s the official meeting am speaking about
Monday…it’s the end of my weekend
When my dad, even now cross questions me on the news items that appear on the paper
The very sight of Snakes

The Last Movie I watched
Arya – Yuck! Never thought I would sit through the movie…

Important Things in My Room, which I use daily
An Iron Box
An Old BPL Tape Recorder
An Electric Water Heater, without the knowledge of the hostel in charge
My Apple IPod

At the moment am
Trying hard to get under my office desk so that I could practice the lying down yoga after a sumptuous meal...
My Boss just peeped from his cabin, so am putting up a show that am into some serious business
Typing a post, which I think is the most intelligent work I ever do…
Gotta a meeting... So waiting for that guy... Trust that he would look good

I Can
I can keep talking for hours without any meaning
I can wake up at 4.00 am even I go to sleep at 1.00am
I can continuously read books
I can drink 12 litres of water a day

I fear
God
My Hitler ( Mom)
My sister when she nibbles my purse

Am best described as
Buoyant
Funny
Naughty
Stubborn if things don't work out my way - but I forgive easily…

Oooops!
Those of you who want to be tagged, lemme know, I would like to tag someone now...For a start Let me Tag the Chit Chat guy on 10 Stupid practices he has...and the Mad Guy on 9 Reasons Why He should be made the CM of this State. Incidentally he Celebrated his Birthday, Yesterday. Happy Birthday Kiddo!

Scribbler Exposed!!!

I am Tagged!!! I know I have been cornered. That’s the price of being a celebrity! However, Shakespearean I could be, I didn’t understand the meaning of being tagged! I sort the help of Billy ! Please click on this link to know what the MSN Encarta says about Tag!

Before getting to know the meaning of Tag thru’ MSN, the only other thing I have heard about Tag is a Price Tag. So, Scribbler dear, please tell me how could you ever think that I could be bought? I know that everything in this world has a price! But don’t you know that to be a Genius you should be born like that…as you have clearly made your idea to purchase me!!!

Now as I go through the list of meanings the MSN has given, Lemme try to explain it as I have understood….

Label: Is it the ones that we stick on our note books in School? Yes, for various reasons we need a label. But, placing the label is an art. Have you ever thought so? It’s been like that for me. Center diagonal/Left Top/Right Side Top, Right Side Middle and Right side Bottom. These are my favorite places to stick my label. There have been times when this art of mine was made fun and sometimes the book cover was torn. Once, one of my school teacher called me:

My Miss: What’s this Bee?

ME: Huh! One second miss.

( I went to the table took her spectacles and gave it to her)

She peered at me. I never asked you to get me my glass, I am asking about this.

Me: Huh! That’s your Left hand.

My Miss: Oh no!!! Is this not your notebook?

Me: That’s why I gave you your glass miss….Yes that is my Science Note book.

My Miss: Bee, Give a yes or No for my question. Ok

Me: I sighed!

My Miss: IS this the way to stick your label.

ME: Yes or No.

After that I don’t wanna proceed… its going away from the topic Tagged

Whatever it is, a label or a tag is essential for the note book. I dunno why they don’t encourage sticking labels in college!!!

Tip at the End of Shoe Lace: Huh! What do I have to write about this… well, with out this in the shoe lace you could still tie a shoe but the lace will look torn, battered. It has never occurred to me that a Tag would add the required richness to a Shoe!!! So A Tag is essential…But Scribbler dear, I don't wear a lace shoe. I don't mind gifts from you as well....

Small Loose or Ragged Piece: No Am BIG. Big enough to beat the scribbler who hints at me that am Loose…Now I dunno what it is to be a Ragged Piece. One thing is sure, if Scribbler continues to call me Small Loose, I would make her a Ragged Piece.

Electronic Device Owned by offender: Who? Me! No way… Sorry Wrong Number….Have I not told you that am a law abiding citizen?

Tip of Animals Tail: I am a human being. Though, out of curiosity, I checked my Back. I don’t have one. Need to check Scribbler… She would definitely deny the truth…She has tagged me to know whether I have one like her or Not? But no one can hide the truth for long…

I was maddened

We girls were having a good time last Sunday at Hostel. Though we had everything, something was missing. That was the time we were hungry as well. It was sometime after 9 pm. WE had just completed our dinner. All we wanted is to munch something. Chackoo asked me to call the Spencer’s Daily, which was near to my hostel. I called up to inquire about store hours. We also had our own doubts whether the store is open on a Sunday. The most amazing and unexpected conversation transpired over the phone. So amazing that I wished I had somehow recorded the conversation.

Store Employee: Hello, thank you for calling [Blah Blah Blah], how may I help you?
ME: Are you working today?

Store Employee: Pisst…!!! why are you my reporting manager?

Me: Huh… like I wanted to know if the shop is open on a Sunday.

S.E. : Now that I have taken the call, hope you know the answer.

I was getting so dumb. I controlled my rage and continued my speaking. By this time around the girls around me started to search for my missing nose!!!

Me: How long is the store open?

S.E.: Look, as long as we are made to s(h)it here, the entire long store is open. But tell me, Why do you want to know? Why would you want to know about our working hours?

Me: I’d like to come to your store…Can I come now? S.E.: That’s a stupid question. Anyone can walk in as long you don’t shop lift!!! Me: I did call a store, yes?

S.E. : Yes, this is [Blah Blah Blah].

Me: Okay great, I’d like to come in and look at what you have for sale and possibly maybe even buy some stuff.

S.E.: Coool (Blame it on Shankar or Rajni…. But this thing I just couldn’t digest)
Me: Do you sell.. (Click… the line went dead)

Me: I actually wanna buy some goodies…I wanted to check

Me: Okay, thanks anyhow.

What do you have to give me now?

One of my friend has given me an exercise . She had a series of Questions with her hoping to get an answer from me!!!! I was pestering her for a good title to write...I never thought she would use this chance to dig me out... Not even the school question papers have made me wonder and think… Here is to you dear KS (yes! My room mate!!!)

If I give you

Rs. 1, 00,000/- and ask you to eat the food our Hostel Warden cooks?

Ask me to die. I would do it. Don’t insult me.

Rs. 1, 00,000/-, would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street

Oh! God! I have done that. I never knew people would get paid for this. I have even danced in the road and cried and made a lot of fuss over everything. I was about 2 yrs. old then….

Rs.100, would you kiss another girl?
Arrey… I have done this many a times yaar…Ask my sis….
Aaaaaarrrrrrrgh... Do you mean lipology Kiss? Hmmm… gotta think.. Don’t you feel Rs. 100/- is too low…???

Rs. 1000/-, would you spend a night inside the bathroom?

Yes I would.*

* Conditions apply

Rs. 10000/-, would you shave your head?

How many times you wanna me to shave. Tell me.

Rs. 50000/-, will you have sex with a member of the same sex?

What a bloke you are? NO. I won’t. If you could add another zero in the last, may be I would.

Rs. 5000/- would you watch Nee, Naan, Nila movie once? You need to watch this movie alone.

* Conditions Apply.

Rs. 1000/- will you take Hot drinks?

Kuduthu Paaru….Please check if they have any Jumbo Pack….

You’re speaking about Coffee right?

Rs. 3, 00,000/-, would you stop working?

That’s what am already doing. But am getting paid still.

Rs.50000/-, would you remain silent for full 24hrs.?

Konjam Kashtam. Suppose i manage 12 hrs. would you still pay me 1/2 of the amount. Even 1/3 is ok with me.

Rs. 100000/- would you stop blogging?

Is this KS or Vigneswaralu?

Well whoever it is, I would. Do you mind giving me an additional 50 K?

Condition:

* Give me a book. Give me a room spray, a chair and a Flask full of Coffee.

AM on the Lookout

I am in the search of 2 books

Beloved Prophet, The love letters of Kahlil Gibran and Mary Haskell

The Kite Runner, Khaled

Please lemme know if you come across any one these...

Nope..I dont have words

Please...
Do you see any joke or is it that I have a bad mind?

What do I do Now?

I have been trying and trying... Trying, trying and trying... ever since I started blogging... It is that yaar... The one that Scribbler has got! The one that Abru has got… every time I try, I land up miserably….I have lost my patience… I even sort the blogger help... It didn’t work out... Now without any help... I seek your all of your help…probably whoever can help me…

For the help rendered, you will be rewarded. Guess what the reward would be... A Big Thanx…!!!

Now tell me... Oh! Haven’t told you what I want is it? Or are you still putting up a show that you don’t understand…? Even if you haven’t understood that, I would call you a dumb head or an empty head... Coz I know the help that am asking does not need too much of brains.. Other than that I also know that those who read this column, doesn’t have the so called kidney err… the BRAIN inside…

If I consider you all to be empty headed and brainless what am I …? Why am I not able to help my self..?! Ahem! Don’t you know that sometimes Genius become fool...?!!!! this is one such incident …!

My dad once came to my school once. That was when I was in 5^th Std. I was called as a lazy girl at home. Not taking any effort to open the book even.

He: Is my girly trying?

Miss: Very trying.

I didn’t understand the meaning of her reply then. But now, if someone asks you this about this post, No wonder I would get the same reply.

So, what is that I was trying to do in my blog space? Heh….Heh… He… AM just unable to add my profile logo. I tried adding the flickr one… from the machine… no way... it isn’t allowing me… I need to check with the Google whether it thinks me to be a competitor?

So, its high time Scribbler tells the secrets…

I am not George Bush!

Have you ever written an imposition? Yes! The ones the teachers force us to do for not listening in the class? I remember it’s still as fresh as the coffee my mom gives me at 6 am. I called my mom this morning. She said my College Principal had been there, (with whom she had become very friendly, reason: Invariably, this Poor Bee).

She had been there to invite us for her son’s wedding. She was the one who gave me a set of rules and made me write 50 times. When the whole world gives the syllabus subject as imposition, she was the only different woman. My dad had preserved almost all the imposition I have done in School. He has also got the last one I did in my college. He has them all to show to his unborn grand children!
(IF you still have me around, all these will follow me to my grave.)

This imposition she made me write when I was in the 5th Semester. Not without a reason. I was late to college as usual. This time, I got caught by her. She liked me. But, she always used to have a stern look at me.

Princi: Why are you late Bee?

Me: There is a sign down the road …

Princi: Don’t you have any other reason? What could be there in a sign possibly have to do with you being late?

Me: The sign says, College Ahead. Go Slow.

She looked into my eyes and said

Princi: Follow Me.

Me: That’s what I have been doing. My mom still complains about my behavior.

Princi: I asked you to come with me to my room. Don’t speak unless and until I ask you to.

Whatever I wrote as imposition, I asked my mom to dictate it over the phone and has given it to you as religiously as I could.

A burp is not an answer.
I will not eat in the class.
I will not pat others to sleep while the lecture is going on.
I am not a dentist.
I will not yawn.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not bring my squirrel to class.
I will not bury the new comer under the bench.
I will not call the principal Spud Head.
I will not park my vehicle in staff parking place.
I will not bribe the AV room assistant and watch movies there.
I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
I will not sit in the last row anymore.
I will not make the fresher’s lick the board
I will not draw in the class room board.
I will not write with my key on the principal's car bonnet.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I will not fake seizures.
I will not cry for my grandfather who died even before I was born.
I will not bet anymore.
I will not instigate revolution.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not sell school property.
I will not make jokes in the library.
I will not sleep through in the class.
I will not snap bras.
I will not spank others.
I will not torment the emotionally frail.
I will not trade my dress with others.
I will not waste chalk.
I will not yell SHE’S DEAD at roll call.
I will not eat the class monitor’s lunch box and fill it with sand.
I will not keep smiling at the new lecturer whenever she sees me – Inside or outside the class.
I will not keep names for the Prof. and lecturers.
I will not celebrate my birthday every six months.
I will not collect money for my birthday celebration.
I will not puke in front of the staff room.
I will not practice singing in the Chapel. I know am in college and am no more a kid.
I will not play Pacha Kuthirai inside the college and in the class especially.
It's potato, not potatoe.
My name is not Dr. Death.
No one is interested in my undies.
The cafeteria is not my play ground
I will dress like a girl.
I will not display the personal letters on the college notice board.
(Incidentally, this was the love letter written to me by the Principals son. I painted on his name with a whitener and put it on display.) Hee hee Hee... he is getting married. Papaaaaaaaa why don’t you decide at least now?)
I know, they are laughing at me, not with me.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.

Warning/Disclaimer/Note ( Keep it as you like it!) : The title and the post has no links whatsoever. All I tried to do was give a title to this post.