All I have to do now is ...Talk to a Machine

AM researching to know more about Answering Machines. My quest to know about AM has gone high, ever since my company offered to place an answering machine for me!

The concept of AM confuses me. If AM ’s are meant to answer for us, how will it identify the questions? Well, even if we take they could understand, are there any evaluation process for this? If they could answer, I want to ask my dad, why he didn’t think of gifting me when I was in Need. That is when, I was writing my Accounts paper successfully unsuccessful for the 11th time.

Unlike you all, I tend to clear my queries then and there. I went to my boss cabin and asked him. He was appalled. HE wanted to know whether am in any kind of a pressure getting a new machine.

Later, my boss called up and asked me to prepare a message for the AM. I really wonder what type of people would call me! What will anyone have to speak with me? I asked my mom, why she has limited the no. of calls she does to me. My mom says, she is at a loss of words whenever she even thinks of speaking to me!

Anyway I have to choose from below any one answer for all the type of question I am going to receive:

Hi. This is Bee. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a male and never married, don't worry, my dad has got enough money to get me married to you. If you are calling regarding anything official, better you call the office nos. there are some people in my office unlike me, who are really working.

Hi, I'm not at office right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Be sure you don’t ask any question. Just speak after you hear the beep.

Hello, you are about to talk to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. Bee is my owner at the moment. She doesn’t need a personal loan, she already has a mobile, and she also has got a vehicle. Neither is she interested in getting a credit card nor a life insurance. She is already insured, both by the company and by her dad. If you're not from any of those companies and still with me, leave your name and number and if she has patience and time to hear all your stupid messages, she might get back to you.

Hi, my office timings are between 9.30 am to 7.00pm. Reach me tomorrow at the given time.

Hi, I think I have already started for home. If you think that am probably avoiding someone, you might be right. I t could even be you. Why don’t you leave a message, your name and number? If I don’t want to avoid you, I would call you back.

HI, this is my office no. I don’t over work. Call me tomorrow. If the call is for your purpose you need to call me. If it’s for my sake, would you still mind calling me back after 9.30 am.?

Hi, don’t waste your time in speaking to the machine. Better call me after 9.30 am and before 7 pm on all weekdays.