I was followed !

Have you ever been to Spencer Plaza on a Working Day? I went. It was more crowded than on weekends. Well, I was nibbling around landmark. I spent close to 3 hrs. Was trying to buy a good book. Only condition was the pricing should not exceed Rs, 100/-. I finally landed up buying Thirukural and My Experiments with Truth both were priced at Rs. 100/- and Rs.30/- respectively. Next to that was Monica’s Story. Ms. Lewinsky’s book about Clinton. Whoops! It was my Petrol Bill for a Month. Rs. 1000/-! I asked the counter staff if he could give me a discount of Rs. 30/- on one book. You see, my budget is exceeding. He denied. He held a board: “All the books here are charged. No DISCOUNTS. Nothing is FREE.” Stupid guy.

After 3 hrs. I was pretty tired. I finally decided to pay. I was standing in a queue. There were many and almost every other person had a HP! I was cursing the likes of Vigneswaralu under my breath for being so mad! Ah! I felt that somebody was following me! I was damn sure that a pair of eyes was following me.

For a second I held my breath and whispered to my Sis, Did you pocket something? I feel someone is following us….Goops! She stared and she walked off. What will this poor bee do if she is left stranded? I payed the bill and rushed out.

I heard him following me. I had a lot of unanswered questions. Can I turn to see him? Who could that be? Is he looking good? I never thought that being beautiful would be a sin. It was highly traumatizing to be followed like that. I didn’t know whether to run or walk casually. With nothing much to do, I entered Pantaloons. Mind you, I just had the exact change to pay at LM. MY sis, dutifully carried all the money with her. All I managed to see of him was his HR style cap and A Red Tee!

With the devil out of my way, after 30 mins. of surfing Pantaloons and not satisfied with any of the collections (!) (That’s what I told him, he smirked...) I came out. From nowhere that Red Tee came in front of me….

HE: HI! I have seen your face somewhere! I just couldn’t to join the pieces.

( Ha! Don’t I know the tricks of you guys! Oru azhagana ponnu velila vandha evvalo pirachanai?)

Me: Ahem! My face has always been here on top of my neck and between two little ears. I don’t allow it to roam alone.

He: You should be BEE! Gawd! So, how have you been doing? He almost yelled! (He is my school mate. The boy who had a crush on me. (What you read was right; he had a crush on me!)

ME: I was alright just 2 mins before. Now that have seen you, only god should say.

(We started to walk, we were near Pizza Corner)

HE: What do you like to have for lunch?

Me: There are 2 things that I simply don’t eat for lunch.

HE: What are they?

Me: Breakfast and Dinner.

He stopped walking for a moment.

Me: Any problem? Why have you stopped walking?

He: Oh! Nothing.. Nothing…

Do you want it to eat here or can we go out and eat down the road.

Me: PB, like you, I don’t eat Tar and stones. What do we do now?

All of a sudden I felt a hand on me. I turned. It was she. My SIS.

After giving intro we walked inside the Pizza Corner. I was very hungry that I didn’t trouble him a lot.He was speaking to my sister through my our lunch.I was doing my duty sincerely and seriously. When we left, he thanked my sister.

He (to my sis): You saved my day. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you soo much.

My Sis: I understand man. No problem. It happens.

He exchanged nos. Not with me. With my sis. I said, I would call him up later. All he said was not to trouble. If he has anything to be said, he will call up my sis. Anyhow, we bid byes and came back home.

Do you like Tennis?

Are you a Fan of Anna Kournikova?

She hits the ball well, Anna Kournikova does, not that anyone really notices. When fans describe her as the "hottest" player on the professional tennis circuit, they're not talking about her serves. They're talking about her curves.

When the 20-year-old Russian is playing, the stands are packed with young men -- and only a few are watching tennis. The rest are keeping their eyes on Anna and her body, the reason so many American men are glad the Cold War is over.

Some fans have no idea who's on the other side of the net, for they'd rather not move their binoculars. They couldn't care less if Anna's playing Venus Williams, Serena Williams or Robin Williams.

Am yet to return back to my Work City. I would be there tomorrow. Well, if you dont understand anything, its that am yet to write my own post for the day. TO continue reading more on Anna Kournikova, click Here.

Smile A While!

Am at Home! Ooooopppppps! Too many things to Eat.. and very little time to Sleeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!.. AM planning to see Die Hard. Dunno if Bruce Willis is lucky today! Well more updates on Monday! Till then Just Enjoy this Pic!

Reflections: Feminism!

The other day I was reading this post by Mad Momma. Her writings are usually about her children and she is into serious writing unlike mine – Stupid Writing. Never have I thought that I would one day start thinking! ( if you have clicked that link, read the Die Hard Portion)

So what is this Post all about? It’s about MEN. Now stop thinking its one another failed flirt story of this poor bee! This post is about those Men who are becoming more fashionable than ever. And some more tips to make them LOVELY!

Blame it on Abhishek who has grown his hair and wears a band! Or Blame it on Vijayakanth and Vadivelu for their openness in wearing lipstick. In the contest of looking more gorgeous, sexy fashionable AB is being closely followed by SRK.

Ahem! Vijayakanth and Vadivelu still cannot beat the man who mastered in Lipsticks. It’s none other than our Village James Bond Ramarajan. Look at the pic above: S.J Suryah is known to give a tough time to all ladies around! Stop Being Crooked! I mentioned the long chains he is wearing. The other apparel which no other Man had tried and the one popularized by Vadivelu is the Nose Ring! Isn’t he looking gorgeous in that?

These men of Tinsel Town are the ones making this Bee think. Am actually thinking what else these Men could try!

Costume: I actually thought of a Chudi! But, the Fashion Designers have done little alteration and have already introduced Kurtas. With those long lovely Duputtas. Remember Saif and SRK in Mahi Ve! And many other Songs. So we are now left with Saree and dress. What they can now do with a Saree is clip it in their pant waist. Pleat it neatly and bring them from behind and hold it as if they are Kings. Preferably a Short Kurta and Jean would go well for this. If they chose a dress, fink floral dress with a matching hat…They will be the coolest!

Apparels: The chain, the nose ring, bracelets, big eye catchy rings, ear ring all these add on which the girls were using to look gorgy, sexy and adorable are under the permanent usage of MEN. The only thing left is the Anklet. Now men can have anklets stitched to the bottom of their trousers. IF they want they also have the option of Belly Button and eyebrow piercing (Has somebody already used this!)

Cosmetics: If lipsticks can take a permanent position so can the nail polish. If you are not sure how this would work, the work on Nails for Males have already started. This also includes Manicure. Now the options left are Eye liner or Eyelash.

Walkers: If everything could be added how could we leave the Shoe? Men can suggest neatly embroidered or hand painted Designer Wear Shoes!

So what the ever beautiful women do when they have such tough contest now! Hmm... they can wash their faces in cold water, comb the navy cut or business cut or come bald like Bruce Willis he only exceptional in Men.

Hey Girls! We can now take home the long hairs, kerchiefs, lip smacked tissues, lip printed cups of our guy! Also, you can catch him if he ever takes a quick cat walk. Forgot! He has his anklets buddy!

Does iT matter?

We were traveling in a two wheeler and I was the driver. We were actually crossing a town and we were going to Madurai from a nearby village. All we managed to sneak was that stupid two wheeler. its the fastest 2 wheeler I have ever driven. It ran at a speed of 20 kms per hour. We still managed to drive for we both had something very important to be purchased.

That was when the trouble started. Nobody offended me. The villain is the person who was traveling with me then! HE is my Uncle. Right from the moment we started from home, the man behind was not calm… We went to a shopping mall. I saw a women smiling at him! He too smiled back! I thought he knew her! Suddenly he was gone. He was speaking to few girls and they were all having a good laugh!

I knew by the look he was not discussing anything seriously with those girls. But he was looking somewhere. I asked him what was doing! HE pointed at some one there and said, don’t look at her immediately! Turn slowly and watch her. She is eyeing me!

Me: What?

He: (giggled) Yeah! AM gonna say Tata and come…

That’s it I couldn’t stand it anymore. I wanted to get out that place before danger comes. Its not that am feeling jealous of him that there is no guy looking at Me! The problem is his age. He is 62 yrs. old. And that SHE was around 50 yrs!

Me: Were you also looking at her? Why not those girls? They will make you look younger?

He: The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. Don’t you know the best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles?

All i could manage was hit myself! Never once have I heard him accept his age. For the past 3 or 4 yrs. he’s been maintaining that he is 55/56!!!

You should see him to understand. He dresses so fashionable that the young guys in my family take his word while selecting a dress. On that particular day he was on a Levi’s Jeans and the funny shirt cum T-Shirt! The same kind of a shirt which Rajini is wearing in Sivaji!

We had all gathered there for a wedding! He forgot to bring his Hair Dye! He doesn’t even call that as Hair Dye. He always insists that he’s been doing hair coloring!

The truth is he is not my Uncle. He is my mom’s maternal Uncle. That is he is my Nanaji! Normally, Tamils call their nanaji as Thatha. As a practice I called him Thatha. One fine day, that was some 6 or 7 yrs. back, he came to me and said…what do I have to give? Why do you often ask Tha Tha? (In Tamil Tha means give!)

He: Look, call me Uncle. If you find that to be a problem call me by name. I won’t object!

He said this to me and to my sis! We were shocked. I couldn’t digest the thought of calling him by his first name. So, I call him uncle. But for me, all the younger ones in my family call him not as thatha but by his first name.

MY Naani has told me that when they got married he won’t walk along with her in road. He didn’t want anyone to think he is married. Even when my cousin she was born, he never went to her school for parent’s day or to pick her up. IF the driver is on a leave he would ask my naani to take an auto and go!

To his bad luck the white hair started appearing early for him. The first one he pulled out. As days went by the white strands also increased. He couldn’t bear the sight of it. He went and tonsured his head. But the hair grew white. That was when he started this dye…err... hair coloring!

The funniest part is he had stubble. Like what Anil Kapoor and Jackie Shroff and Nana Patekar had. The moment he saw white hairs there he became Sallu and SRK. Clean…

I have always heard him saying this: The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. But whatever he is up to, I like him for what he is. The latest development with him is… He wants to know if anyone as good looking as Tabu would love him! If Big B can, why not me? Am much younger and fitter than him! For him it was no Sugar Less...Its always Zaada!

After all 55 is not that old! Isn’t it Bee dear?

Adieu! to you Sir...We love you

He was called as the SMS President by a left politician. Yes. He is right. When the so called MP's and MLA's elected by us, the people, failed to see his vision, politicians who wanted a rubber stamp for them he is an SMS President. For he was the only choice by all good thinking Indians who want to live in a developed India.

Only you could leave the highest post with 2 small suitcases!

Adieu to you Sir. We as Indian will miss seeing you, addressing us, from the Rasthrapathi Bhavan. We know for sure, that you will still be communicating to us and would continue to ignite the young minds wherever you go.

Here is what he said in his last televised speech as the PRESIDENT OF our great INDIA!.

Also, read this to know what Rajdeep Sardesai has to say about this beloved man.

Welcome to Chennai Sir! We are Happy to have you back!

Note:
This is his website. Dunno how long this would be active.

My mind not only wanders

, sometimes it leaves completely.

A question for all of you before you could go ahead reading this POST!
What do you call a Greek girl who runs away from her home?

Have you ever had the chance of traveling in a passenger train? It was my dream. I went to the railway station, took a ticket. Boarded the train and sat comfortably near the window. When I sat, the kid in the next bay was yelling. Before starting, I asked my Room Mate

Me: Do you wish to join me KS? I am going on an expedition.

KS: With you? She is quite apprehensive of me. Can’t help it?

Me: Would you? You could actually have a great time. Whadya say?

KS: ………………………… (Sorry, I cannot divulge what she said)

So, there I was enjoying the slight drizzle and the cool breeze. There was also a kid and his MOM calm and quite unlike the other in the next bay. HE was speaking to his mom in a gentle monotone. Mamma, that guy broke my dolly. See here!

It’s been a long time since I saw 2 women fighting. I thought his mom would now go and have a fight with the other. I was surprised. She was as calm as Dead Sea. What did you do mottu? Nothing Mamma, I was playing with him teacher stud and he did a mistake. So I just hit him on his head with this dolly. Good God. I was just saved. I thought of playing with this little one.

One thing I noticed, I was in the midst of many upcoming entrepreneurs. Textile Tycoon selling T-Shirts, Fast Food King selling groundnuts and bhel, Stationary Man selling pens, CD’s and DVD’s. I even happened to get my hands on the DVD copy of Rajini’s movie Sivaji! I declined buying it! He even offered to sell me Kamal Hassan’s Dasavatharam, till whatever has been filmed! Just then I imagined what all option I would have after 2 or 3yrs.?

Loans and Credit Cards would be sold like ground nuts! Not to forget Insurance and MF!!

The Ladies compartment would be filled with beauty parlors. Imagine the fate of Men! They would be waiting for their wives. The wife after becoming somewhat better would go near her husband. He would start flirting with her. Tell her that he is unmarried and just came to pick his sis or mom or some stupid friend…. OOOOO!

Some more offers for Ladies! There would be Tailors. Stitched and delivered before the station arrives! I mean the dress.(Now stop giggling and read!)

Tuitions’ could be conducted for the very brilliant student like this Humble Bee!

If you are already bleeding, save your soul for the last.

A priest would be readily available to solemnize instant marriages. Board as Ms. Walk out as Mrs.! What more Laloo would land up as the biggest match maker!

So what else, Lawyers and Judge for instant judgment and instant divorce!

Are you still reading this hopefully to get the best shot in the last! Phew!

If this is restricted....

I was sent a link by one good minded person to rate my Blog! You would now want to know why my blog is Restricted. Isn't it?The reason is this:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

• death (7x)
• dead (4x)
• hell (2x)
• rape (1x)

When did I ever write about Rape? Huh! What to they mean my Parental Guidance!

Some Cartoons for the day....

I still have 4 more days for Saturday... Understand Yaar.. its the Weekend Hang! Till I warm up, Enjoy these....




and one more....

You should also understand that am working a lot these days! Don't you all think that Bee deserves a BREAK?

MGM: Bee dear, You had rest for 2 full days. You need to start. C'mon be active!
MBM: What do you think you are doing at Office? Working? Don't joke.

Me: Enough! Enough of you both speaking. Come only when called! Now both of you get inside....

If you dont understand what an MBM and an MGM is its just that you haven't read this

How did I manage?!?

You know, I am typing this not seated in my seat. I am now on the top of my desk behind the monitor with the keyboard and mouse positioned safely.

BTW have you ever thought the desktop background could go upside down? The creative person in me was trying to do something and everything went topsy turvy….Actually I was trying to create a cartoon of myself. Oops! Now I am a live walking/talking/eating sleeping cartoon here at my office.

As usual I was left clueless. I didn’t know what I did. Neither do I know how to correct it. I called my Sys Admin. You should have seen the look in his eye. I went to the ladies room and had a good laugh...some of my colleagues even started congratulating me that for once he is going to do some work!

S.A.: Bee, what on earth did you do?

Me: Had I know, would I call you in the first place?

S.A: Only you…I repeat it could only be you who could do this sort of a thing.

Me: Think from the other side.

He was standing opposite to me. He came near and stood beside me.

S.A.: Even now I feel the same.

( No. No. No. my nose wasn’t hurt at all. Not a bit. Only the front piece of my nose was lying safely near his boots.)

Me: ok. Do something.

SA.: Sshh! I know that. Temme what you did. Do you have any faint idea how I could make it normal?

Me: Look, all I did was, I was trying to create a cartoon called Bee. That’s it and nothing more.

SA: Sigh! Ahem! hoooof

Me: One fantastic idea mate!

SA: You tell me the idea and lemme decide whether its fantastic or not.

Me: ( he he he.. this time I was safe. I was not near him. My nose escaped) Remove all the connecting wires.

SA: OK. Then

Me: Lift the monitor. I will place a new yellow cloth. Slowly turn the monitor and keep it. After that connect all the wires. This time only the monitor will look upside down and the desktop background will be normal.

Whadya say?

SA: Aaaaaaaaargh! Please could you wait in your favorite place: Pantry for some time. Its all my mistake. I should not have asked you for any idea.

Poor thing. He hit himself hard on my desk and I think he was bleeding.He mumbled something under his breath.

Me: Why don’t you think that you are learning something new?

He: Please. Please. Please. You have done it. I will make it normal. Okay.

Please look at the pic and tell me if I did any mistake. Suddenly the desktop background went upside down! Does anyone know why it happened?

All I have to do now is ...Talk to a Machine

AM researching to know more about Answering Machines. My quest to know about AM has gone high, ever since my company offered to place an answering machine for me!

The concept of AM confuses me. If AM ’s are meant to answer for us, how will it identify the questions? Well, even if we take they could understand, are there any evaluation process for this? If they could answer, I want to ask my dad, why he didn’t think of gifting me when I was in Need. That is when, I was writing my Accounts paper successfully unsuccessful for the 11th time.

Unlike you all, I tend to clear my queries then and there. I went to my boss cabin and asked him. He was appalled. HE wanted to know whether am in any kind of a pressure getting a new machine.

Later, my boss called up and asked me to prepare a message for the AM. I really wonder what type of people would call me! What will anyone have to speak with me? I asked my mom, why she has limited the no. of calls she does to me. My mom says, she is at a loss of words whenever she even thinks of speaking to me!

Anyway I have to choose from below any one answer for all the type of question I am going to receive:

Hi. This is Bee. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a male and never married, don't worry, my dad has got enough money to get me married to you. If you are calling regarding anything official, better you call the office nos. there are some people in my office unlike me, who are really working.

Hi, I'm not at office right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Be sure you don’t ask any question. Just speak after you hear the beep.

Hello, you are about to talk to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. Bee is my owner at the moment. She doesn’t need a personal loan, she already has a mobile, and she also has got a vehicle. Neither is she interested in getting a credit card nor a life insurance. She is already insured, both by the company and by her dad. If you're not from any of those companies and still with me, leave your name and number and if she has patience and time to hear all your stupid messages, she might get back to you.

Hi, my office timings are between 9.30 am to 7.00pm. Reach me tomorrow at the given time.

Hi, I think I have already started for home. If you think that am probably avoiding someone, you might be right. I t could even be you. Why don’t you leave a message, your name and number? If I don’t want to avoid you, I would call you back.

HI, this is my office no. I don’t over work. Call me tomorrow. If the call is for your purpose you need to call me. If it’s for my sake, would you still mind calling me back after 9.30 am.?

Hi, don’t waste your time in speaking to the machine. Better call me after 9.30 am and before 7 pm on all weekdays.

You dont know what I did yesterday!

Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me... Gotcha… - Anonymous

So do I.

I don’t have any other thing to do. Santosh is asking me not to think. God! But I have a problem. You all know that I live in my work city, in a hostel. I share my room with one another girl. A fussy one. Some how she manages to irritate me. For the past one week I have been thinking and rethinking on what I could do to confuse her…This is what I did yesterday. (Vigneswaralu, try this... it could be useful for you too!)

I left the room at 7.30 pm and was sitting in one another room till 10pm. When I got back to my room, she was in deep sleep. Somewhere around 1 .00 a.m. I nudged her, quite enough to stir her from her sleep. I pretended to talk and started to walk in sleep. The next day morning, she was asking me to see a good doctor. I asked her what my problem was.

She: Why don’t you see a good doc? I saw you walking and going to the terrace.
Me: You are speaking about me is it?
She: Yeah! I thought you were going to loo. I followed you sleepily. But to my shock, you went upstairs and you looked up the sky and started to speak.
Me: What? How could you say this?
She: No dear. I saw you walking out in sleep. You were talking to someone in your sleep.
Me: I giggled. Looked at her funnily. KS (Identity Sealed), are you alright?
She: Yeah. Why do you ask me that?
Me: Because, I was working in night shift yesterday. I came back only at 5.00 am.
She: No, but I saw you yesterday evening.
ME: Yeah, I was here till 7.30 pm. And the work timings were between 8.00 pm to 4.00 am.
She: You don’t work on shifts. You have never said this to me. I have never seen you working in shifts.
Me: I pee. Do I say that to you?
She: Enough. I can’t take this any more!
ME: The Pee?
She: Holy Shit!
ME: I know the Pee is Shit. But I never knew its Holy?
She: Aaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!
ME: Oh dear. I gotta sleep. Am tired. The night was hectic. I didn’t have a moment to shut my eye. Let me sleep. Can you just order my lunch while you go?

Me: hey…. One more thing! Should I call your mother?
Poor thing. She was looking at me in disbelief. At least for the next one week, she would be quite. Whadya Say?

Bang! The door shut behind her. Puuuuuuuupppp

This is 76

For once I am letting the 2 pics speak for itself...




I also recieved another mail from Vigneswaralu. It was when the visitors counter reached 1234 with him....yuck! my brain didn't work then

What do I do?

Look here mates, I wanna write something today. I was thinking on what to write. But this was going inside my mind.



Me: Ha.. what to write today?

My Good Mind ( MGM): Huh- let me see if i can help you.

My Bad Mind ( MBM) : Bee, you are no Salman Rushdie or Mario Puzo.


Me: Ayyo! am unable to think on any topic. Shall i skip today?

MGM: Look, you have started writing. Don't stop it.

MBM: For once, the reading community is saved. Pls. Pls. Pls stop it.


Me: Can I write about food?

MGM: Thats a good Idea. See you have now decided on a theme.

MBM: Why not you also write about the first time you drank.....?puuuuupp( this is the sound of bad mind's laugh) ... that would be one great thing!


Me: Oops! am confused!

MGM: Cmon dear. Listen to what your brain has to say. Not by your heart.

MBM: Brains! what is that?


Me: Nope! I can't do it today. May be tomorrow.

MGM: OK dear! Take rest. Think well. You still have it in you.

MBM: Appada.. Sigh! this is the best decision of all you have done today.

Anyway, if you guys want me to write on any particular thing. Lemme know. If I have brains, I will try to write.

Coooooooool

The Pics Speak...






Does it need any other explanation?

Home Alone - Its tough!

A man carrying a big dark blue bag, traveling in his dappa Splendor or a Hero Honda….during the busy hours… have you seen someone like that? Let me give you some more clues. He mostly wears a plain light yellow shirt or a sky blue shirt with a not at all matching brown pant or a dark navy blue pant wearing the ugliest of all ties….. Yes... Am speaking about the Eureka Forbes Man who dutifully does this everyday

I was driving to office this morning. I saw this guy after a long time. During my innocent days (!), I always thought that the best job on earth is selling Vacuum Cleaner. You don’t need to go to office. You can all along travel in your bike. The company pays your petrol bills. You can go to a theatre whenever you want to! Isn’t that a great thought? What made me Yuck is you got to go and clean some one else’s house for a living.

While I was enjoying my summer holidays at my nanny’s place, one evening he came home. He demonstrated how this cleaner could clean everything. After he was through, my Granpa wanted to know if he could come back in a month’s time. That guy was pleased. HE wanted to know if he could do a booking then and so that we could do the purchase a month later. Hearing this my granpa was shocked. He had actually wanted that guy to come the next month for demonstration once again so that he could have a clean place.

I think I was in my 3^rd year. I was alone in my home. No one was there. I mean I was there and the rest of the family were enjoying the day without me…(Did I make you bleed?) coming to the topic…I was reading an interesting fiction.

Pom Pom Pom Pom… that’s how our calling bell sounds … I was but irritated and when I opened the door he barged in. I never invited him in… I wanted to beat him black and blue... Am speaking about that E.F. guy. Even before I could say some thing….even before I could open my mouth I saw him pouring dust all over the carpet in my living room…What the hell are you trying to do? How could you ever do this?

He: Mam, Don’t worry... Here is the new fantastic updated Vacuum Cleaner, from E.F.. If I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this shit!" exclaimed that silly eager salesman.

Normally I don’t speak bad about others. But this was very rude of him. I wanted to slap him for the mess he had created I knew that it’s a sheer waste. But with this statement of his I knew I got him

Me: How do you like it? With Tomato Hot & Sweet sauce are with the left over chutney?

He: HE was embarrassed. I swear my job that I can clean this in five mins. Why do you say so?

ME: There’s been no power since this morning. The power will come only at 6 pm. So, tell me how do you like it?

What happened later….sorry I am at a loss of words to describe how he looked at me then!

Have you been caught?

Have you ever got caught by your mom or dad? My mom always spied me during my school days. For her reaching the sky was easier than making me sit. She even used to check my back to check if something called Tail has started to grow.

I was sitting there. Thinking of ways on how to change the World. It was a cool evening. I had exams the next day. As per the norms I had the book with me. Suddenly this happened. You all know that I don’t like to eaves drop, but I happen to hear things incidentally or accidentally…

She: Why did you call home?

He: No dear I just wanted to hear you…

She: Thank God you cut the phone.

He: Did you have any problems at home Darling?

She: Yeah! But somehow I managed it…

For heavens sake don’t call up. We would be caught.

He: Anyhow, they will come to know. Look we are grown ups. Why don’t you speak to your dad?

She: If so, why don’t you speak to your dad?

He: C’mon dear. I can manage my family.

They started to have an argument. As any regular kid would be I was double minded. Whether to hear more or move to some other place and start studying.

Thud! I saw my mom standing next to me. She gave me a kick in my butt.

Mom: Bee, can’t you ever be serious. You are having exams tomorrow and sitting here you are listening to that stupid soap!

Me: No mom, actually I wanted to go up but you see….

Jogging Good or Bad?

Do you go for an early morning Jog daily? Do you remember the 1^st time you went? It was way back in 1996. I had just completed my 12^th Board Exam. C’mon stop calculating how old I would be now! Am just 23 yrs yaar! Even the prev. year I was of same age and next year also I would retain this. The issue here is no one should ever think that Bee lies.

Well coming back to the topic, I didn’t know what to do then. One thing I made it clear with my Dad that I will not be writing Engg. Entrance. How would I? All I wanted to, was to become a Good House Wife! Yes! Even then I was the same! One fine evening Ms. Tun- Tun (identity sealed!) came to my house. She invited me to join her in the ritual which she does to become slim and good looking like me!

As it is I had no work and enough time, I joined her. I got my track suit, the shoes ready. I asked my mom if she could prepare sweet lime juice and give it. Ahem! She declined. Early morning at around 5.00 am she came and woke me. The whole night I was thinking of the jog I dozed off only around 4.00 am. Somehow I managed and we started. The issue started right in front my house gate. I took my cycle. She looked at me as if am mad!

Tun Tun: Bee darling, I think we are going for a jog. Don’t you know that?

Me: Huh-em I know. But how about going to the stadium in my cycle and we can jog inside the stadium.

Tun Tun (T2): Why is it that you always oppose? When I want to go east you wanna go west? I fear that there won’t be anyone inside the stadium at 5.00 am!

Me: Look here! This is the way I had dreamed. Do you want me to jog with you or not? She finally had to give up. She pulled her cycle and we started!

She is 2 yrs. Elder to me. How could I tell her that I have a guy who’s been seeing me for that past one week! If I go by her route I should cross his house. What if he thinks that am growing fat and if he stops seeing me! He should be 4 yrs. elder to me! He fell into the TDH category ( Tall, Dark, Handsome) I suppose he was doing his Engg.

The was a little breeze. I was enjoying it! Suddenly I strained my eyes and was petrified at what or whom I was looking at? God! It was him! Inside the stadium, right in front of me! I cursed myself for suggesting here! Shucks! With this I wanted to show him am athletic so started to jog fast. I was going a bit ahead of T2. He came along.

He: Hi G.M.!

Me: Hai! Yeah Good morning! (Was blushing!)

He: great! Do you jog daily? Have never seen you here! Am happy to see you here!

Me: I was wondering whether what am hearing is true. Yeah! I don’t come here to stadium. I go to my school ground. (Sweet lies yaar! That was the first time m speaking to him. )

HE: Which standard are you in?

Me: I was angry and happy at the same time. Just completed my 12^th.

One point of time we were running at the same speed and going in rounds together! My heart had already slipped. We were getting to know each other. Poor thing Tun Tun was staring at me for speaking to some guy! She hates guys! After some time he asked me pointing at her:

He: Is she your sis?

Me: No. Why? Why are you asking me this?

He: Relax. Relax. I wanna know if I could propose to her thru YOU? Would you mind helping me? For the past one week I had wanted to ask you. But every time you were always with some one.

Me: Do I look like a messenger or post man to you? I scowled and joined T2. That was the end of it. I didn't even turn to see him after that. (Did you not hear my heart break?)

Next day morning. She came. She wanted me to join.

Me: T2, I wanna join you but am actually feeling healthy. Why don’t you go alone?

She: K fine.

ME: I can join you if we can go to my school ground and not to that stadium. What do you say? (Please buddies am not a cunning person. Am trying to be protective of her. You should understand.)

Update: After that I never told her that incident. He completed his B.E. and went somewhere. This morning I gotta call that she has delivered a baby girl for him. Yes! They are Man and Woman…Shucks Husband and Wife Now!

The Disaster!

I was in my home for the weekend. My dad after going thru my blog felt it’s the time for him to speak it up or is it with me? Ok. Something. We spoke for nearly 1hr. At first when he drove me to beach, I never knew what was in store for me! As we sat down, the first thing I enjoyed was the cool breeze. I, at that point never knew that I would be sweating later!

Even as I type down this I hesitate but cannot resist the temptation to share with you. Lemme introduce my dad to you. He is a Central Govt. Employee. A good citizen. An avid reader. But I never knew that he is a fan of Bruce Cameron! I never thought that this columnist could dampen my life.

Dad: Bee, my child. I understand your plight of not getting married still. I have been going thru your blog. You seem to be much worried about your single status.

(Me: C’mon dad, I was just expecting this. God! The blog has at last started to work in my favour)

Dad: Have you heard about the 8 Simple Rules of Dating my Teenage Daughter? Bruce has actually made me think and re-think my choices for a suitable groom!

Me: What’ that to do with me? BTW am not your teenage daughter! Am well past that and waiting to get married! Who the hell is that Bruce? (Don’t you feel the panic in me?)

Dad: I thought you would always come with a guy and say that you have fallen in love with that guy and you would want to marry him?

Me: Just think dad! Have you ever given me a break! Everyday you would be the one who would come and pick me up! (Gosh! I was exhausted!)

Dad: Look, there are things that I look in a man for you. If he doesn’t fall under that category, how do you expect me to get you married to him?

Me: I lost my temper. Now what’s that you are looking for?

Dad: I have been trying to get a suitable groom. But this is what I look in a guy.

1. He might be the most handsome guy on earth. But when it comes to getting married to you, I would double check him thru a detective agency. He should be a tee to taller!

2. HE should not be a Scientist, an IT guy, A sales person, a financial guy etc., the pay is good. But almost all the guys whom I see go bald at an early age and wear spectacles.

3.HE should be 3 yrs. Elder to you. For this, I will not be able to give your age. I know its not fair to disclose a girl’s age even if it happens to be my daughter.

4.Should not have a good appetite. I say this because: he will have to eat your cooking. If in case he has a good appetite, he should be willing to cook every day and every meal.

5.When I see him for the first time I will not invite him home; it will be in a public place; could be a restaurant of my choice. But, the bill will never be shared. He should be magnanimous enough to pay!

6.When I see him for the first time his dressing counts. He cannot wear a Jeans. I hate it! He cannot wear a trouser with side pockets. No Funky T-Shirts please. I don’t want him in a formal wear either. It reflects that he loves to work more than loving my daughter! He cannot wear a dhoti! He might look outdated and you might think that I have chosen an out of fashion crackpot!

7.I will not be taking you while I meet him. But all our conversations would be recorded. I will give him your photo only after I approve of you and after your mom and sis give their consent.

8.Once everything is finalized and only after that can he talk to you. All your talks should be over the phone only. He should pay your mobile bill. While you are away at office the mobile will be with me!

9.He cannot take you outside. If in case he has to, you will be promptly accompanied by me or by your mom. You will have to sit in the passenger seat behind and if it’s your mom, then she will sit with you. If it’s me, then he should be glad for I will sit next to him. After all he won’t feel lonely!

10. He should have a neat face. I mean...No stubble like AB Jr. and should have a neat trimmed moustache and properly groomed side burns.

And so he continued… it went on and on…. We were in home after that! I was perspiring and went to have a bath as if to wash of all I had heard! I even pricked me hoping that all I heard was not true but I have dreamt! I yelled in pain. My mom came running. Poor thing, she would not what had happened. I wanted to pour out what i had heard. Something inside me was crumpling. Was that my dreams? Dutifully I told her.

Me: Ma, papa just told me the kind of guy he is looking for me? Recited her everything.How is he able to think so weird?

Mom: Bee darling, how could you think that your father for once has used his brains? She grinned and left!!!!!!!!!

I getting married is in the distant future. May be I would be 60 and a Virgin still!

Note: This could be a long post. Blame it on Bruce or blame my dad. But am pathetic.

Am Reading

Chackoo.. this is how we call her.... She is 20 yrs old and doing her UG. Nothing wrong! But what troubles me is this. She says she is in Love! There is this guy who comes and meets her regularly, takes her out, gifts her occasionally....Then there is another girl.. she is Mony... She is doing her P.G. she is going to get engaged in a couple of weeks. She is 22 yrs old.

There are so many girls living in the same hostel as I am. Every day I see someone or the other going and coming in with their chosen partner! What world is this? Isn't there one single person in this world to fall madly in love with me? To Flatter Me, Gift Me huh!!! Very Bad eh! Is there no one to understand the heart of this Humble Bee! Gosh! I have been repeatedly saying this to my dad and mom...

Now don't ask what is the link between the title Am reading and this Post? Am just unable to bear all these collaborations happening right in front of Me! All I have is a little heart... a really small one.. but no one to steal!

I was sharing my agony to one of my pals, she says, guys are not that interested in looks, so anyway you have a chance; but they wanna a person with 400 gms inside their head! Do anyone of you know what she means by that? After hearing this, I went to a weighing machine. The man there never allowed me to weigh my head. After a bit of confusion and talks I weighed my head! OH My God! My head weighs 1000 gms...Ooops! How do i reduce the weight in my head alone, now?

May be, am poor at choosing a guy...may be the guys whom I have met, finds me too intelligent that they fear, that they are not the right match for me...! Err... may be it's because I dunno about men! Anyway, Am reading a book; This is not to enhance my knowledge; Its for me to understand M.E.N ( Mad, Egotist Nerd); The book is What a Man needs ...

Lemme see if I land up getting One!

One more thing! All those guys and friends of Mine... LISTEN... Santosh and Vigneswarulu
has asked me to whip your A** for not commenting! Well those of you who can come in person to get their piece of Whip are welcome and those who cannot come in person... Haaaaaa! What do i do? Santosh and Vignesh you temme!

I dont wanna be Exposed!

It has never occurred to me for once how hard it would be for Ash, SRK, Big B or Tom Cruise and Jolie.... Am speaking about the difficulties in being what they are..

All of my friends whom have spoken or mailed are trying to mollify... Its because am angry and upset...Am upset at being exposed.. all my efforts to keep my identity sealed has gone in vain...

When i started going to drawing class and after my meeting with the alumni, i never thought that I would have to undergo this...All I have done is, I have a blog to write and have decided to own a boutique! Thats it! it sounds simple! It isn't as simple as it sounds...

All these days i was just one another passerby and the posts which i write has given me some unexpected and unwarranted limelight...! I agree! Initially, I have even found it amusing when people called up or write to me just to hear me or receive a mail from me...I have heard that Paparazzi and attention seekers do something unbelievable ....there are some crazy people who would just want to touch their idol... some would want to kiss some would threaten....I thought all those reports are blown up and given to the mass... Now am being made to believe that its all true...

I didn't know what mistake I did... for the past 24 hrs... someone I know not who, has kept me away from my mode of communication.. My Mobile...The technology has always astonished me.. Somehow she has managed to divert all the calls I make to land in her number...Every time I try to make a call, she answers it.. Even with incoming calls I have the same problem...Could this be done..

Is this a prize am paying to become the most wanted celeb? I even blasted her this morning for doing this to me...she says Thank You...Fortunately and to my good luck I have a land line no. thru which am able to call up people.. Its highly tormenting.. Do you have any idea to save me out of this mess? Has the technology improved so much that without the users will and knowledge, all the calls could be diverted? I don't think that even Aamir Khan would be undergoing this after he started his own blog!

She's been persistent and has not changed her words; Let me tell you what she's been saying ever since she started doing this to me: Sorry! The outgoing call facility has been barred for this no. Your credit limit has exceeded. Please pay your bill before the end of this week for uninterrupted Service. Thank You.

Now that I have told you all, am feeling a bit relieved! Oooofh! What can I do now am clueless!

More bang your head reads:
To be(e) or not to be (e); but its not about Pee!
Am Diturbed!

You tell Me

All those patrons those who are silent readers ...( Dilip , Binesh its about you am saying) Lemme me know what kind of a stuff you would like to read... Those who were so fast than yours truly honey bee, to drop in a comment, why don't you first click on the poll? At least I would know what you want!

Ooooops! Never thought writing a post would be this difficult? Here you go... Click so that I would know

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In the process of becoming a/an - II

To be an artiste one needs more support and guidance. That's why, I decided to meet the alumni…..You don’t understand a word? (Normally it happens if you read my post regularly…) Then you have missed what I said yesterday….So Read this First…

As the alumni wanted me to keep them anonymous, here am just giving you their First Letter in their Respective names!

Ms. A, Alumni, School of Arts (SoA) : So Bee, tell us what are all your problems ?

Me: Problem is, sir has asked me to draw a straight line… Am just baffled and perturbed… how do I draw a line?

Mr. P: That’s simple bee dear! (He is one another alumni)

Me: Is it? Can you draw one for me and show…

Mr. P: Fine. Let me explain, take a small piece of thread and hold it; do you see a line here?

Me: Yes. Oh! Ok… I see a line... You are making it sound so simple;

Mr. P: Now place them on the surface you plan to draw; place it in such a way that the two ends meet face to face; Ok. Now take your Pencil and draw along the thread like this ( he draws and shows)…

Me: Oh! But it resembles a circle? He stared at me! Sorry, if am wrong…am just a beginner…

Ms. M: (as Mr. P found it difficult to explain, she came in to help me) Both the ends of the thread should not touch each other while you place it on the board. By doing so, you always know that when you take the thread and hold, it will be a straight line…

Me: Yeah! Now I understand!

Ms. M: You should also understand that there are 420 ways to place the thread & to draw a straight line... But only by this way you would be confident to have a straight line….Also, don’t worry about Sir, he always says this is absurd! It works well with us!

Me: Now tell me which is the best dress to wear for the class; As instructed by Sir, I try my level best not to spill paint in the canvas … but at the end of the class, I have all those colours in my dress…

Ms. A: That’s a good question. You are the 1000^th one to ask this! let me give you some key advice: Always wear a white dress… by this way whatever colour you spill will be a fashion or a design on its own; You can also plan to have a boutique; there will be celebrities queuing up all the time outside your show room to buy the battered, crumpled and paint spilled dresses… Call it the Bee’s Collections!

MS. J (She is one another new comer like me, came with me to meet the alumni) "I want to become an artiste but am not interested in all those designer wear studios you are speaking about…I want to be a full time painter an exhibitor am finding it very challenging. There's so much around to think and create! Got any tips to make it easier?"

Mr. P: Good one my dear. Initially you can start collecting the hand towels which you all use to clean your painted hands! Then analyze each piece! Which ever Kerchief or towel you find intriguing, like bit torn here and there; or if you have one or 2 predominant colours that would be fine. Place them on a contrasting surface fix it up. Frame it! Wow!

Ms. M: That’s it! Call it Modern Art ! When asked tell them that its about a poor girl or that its your love story! It will be an instant Hit

Ms. J: You all make it sound so simple and neat. Thank you! Thank you so much! ( She was emotional) Even I felt the same.

Me and Ms J together: Anything more you have got to tell; we look forward…

Ms. A and Mr. P: Make sure that you don’t keep your paintings in your living room; IF your parents and your siblings in your house have not taken insurance, better ask them to take one now; they might need it after seeing your spectacular creations; They might have some eye problems; take them to the specialist!

Ms. M: Dont allow your pets near your creations. But have them near you while you paint! you will have the hit design!

Ms. A:Whenever you want to wear your designer wear dress, check whether there are any bulls around... Don’t worry Bee and J, You will make it!

Me: "Thank you for your inputs, Ms.A, Ms. M and Mr. P;
I'd really like to see for myself how well your system works.

With this, they all left. Now that am clear, place your orders for your designer dress. You could either drop in your requirement in the comments section or write to me at honeybeesleeps@gmail.com

In the process of becoming a/an

Right from my childhood I have always wanted to be an artiste. Getting Noticed, Appreciated, giving interviews, making big money and selling my creations. Don’t you dare think that I have wanted to be an actor. I have never wanted to give Aishwarya Rai the run for her money or fame….I have not even considered her to be my competition!

I mean I want to become a painter. If not a Michelangelo, can I at least not become one like M.F.Hussein? I have decided. I have joined painting class…

Being an artiste is not all that easy. There are some tasks such as color mixing, choosing the surface, using the right brush; all these things just baffle the Bee Brain! You don't know how many times I've put the canvas in the trash. Every time my master comes near to check, I always make it a point to keep my canvas as clean as I could.

Now that I have joined and have told you guys I should also keep up to your expectations as well! Since I go straight to class (obviously taking turns whenever and wherever required) from my work I am always placed far away from the master.

Yesterday evening I went to class. My master came near me and we were speaking in an animated manner! Seeing two great artistes speaking is a great honour. The rest of the class enjoyed that moment of honour.

He stood near me.

Master: "You don't want to work?" he asked, almost with disdain.

Me: "No," For a second he didn’t blink.

Master: Looked squarely and said what?

Me: No. I mean am already working and I want to paint. Not work.” I prefer the nice relaxing life of an artiste.” Thinking and recreating the imagination! It's the kind of life I have always envisioned.

Master: He in a quite and low voice that only till 2^nd floor he was heard, he said, I appreciate your dreams; If you want to make you dreams come true, Draw a line first.

This led me to some serious thinking. I even planned to get admitted in some hospital... Unfortunately I didn’t get leave nor was the hospital ready to take in patients who think seriously! It had never occurred to me once that to become an artiste one has to draw a line. In order to know more I met some alumni of this Drawing School who like me wanted to become an Artiste!

Shucks! My boss is calling me! Gotta go! Give me some time; I will post the excerpts of the meeting I had with the Alumni Tomorrow!

Have more time to kill? Also read
# Newtons Law of Motion Proved!
# Lkie I hvae A Porlbem

Not a forward

This is not a forward: Gere-Shilpa kissing controversy has died. I read an interesting column of Melvin Durai ( Get linked - He is in my blog roll!)...This guy is just amamzing! Have Fun reading this